Acne and Other Troubles of a 20-Something

I'm alive.

2011-12-09T02:02:00.004+05:30

Just saying.

* * *

While I'm still here I just want to say something.

This is really personal but I'd like for you guys to hear about it too.

In any case, you can't keep such things a secret for too long, no?

True story.

* * *

You've gotta love the Internet.

* * *

I'll try and write something fun, soon, for 'tis the season to be jolly!

Note to self: SHIT. WRITE SOMETHING FUN, SOON, FOR 'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY!

Cheers
x

Summer Love

2011-04-29T03:26:00.024+05:30

It had been a while since I'd gone to that part of town...
...since I'd seen the building where he and I spent that one summer together.

Somehow, it didn't feel the same. Nothing was magical about it anymore.

Walking down that road, I found it hard to believe that there was a time when I'd put everything on hold and dash halfway across town...
to this building...
to walk through that painted wooden door...
to see him...

He felt so cold against my body-sweaty from all the running, warm under all that make up and all those layers of black clothes.

We hardly used to talk.
I loved it.
What would I say to him anyway? Discuss school?
I only remember this...
Our lips.... the cold spreading through my body... and then goosebumps.
It became routine. Like a drill, almost.
I loved it.
I had had my first orgasm.
I kept going back there, everyday.

He still lives here I've heard. I'm sure he's found someone new.
I will just be that delirious 17 year old to him who was obsessed with him once.
Life goes on, no?
But it was not his fault anyway... None of it.

At 17, I was sure I had found love and even more sure that he and I would last forever and for always (like in that Shania Twain song.)

Then one morning, I wasn't able to slip into my jeans quite as easily as I usually would.

The bump started showing.
My belly was getting bigger.
It didn't matter how much I cut back on Nutella.
I needed maternity pants. Soon.

I think she read the guilt in my eyes (or she figured there was something the size of a giant panda under my shirt) but at any rate, my mother was the first to talk to me about it.
I burst out. I confessed to her. My mum. I told her what I'd been doing all summer long.
She was calmer than I thought she would be when it all came out into the open.
She held my hand and walked me through the biggest screw up of my life...

My beer belly.

Courtesy: Beer @ Pecos.
Rs. 275 per pitcher.
Buy one, get one.

* * *

Now of course, I'm a lot wiser... older.
"That building" is just another building to me.
I'm blissfully married to Whiskey.
We've had a couple of babies ever since- Giant Zit and Painful Oily Pimple.
They are my world.
We have a third one on the way... We want to name him Ugly Zit Jr.
Life is good.

* * *

Disclaimer:
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious.
Any resemblance to any real biological process, natural or in-vitro is purely coincidental.

No fractures this year. Touchwood.

2010-11-23T01:28:00.013+05:30

Stewie Griffin: The best thing to have happened to babies since diapers.

I've been gone long, huh? It's fucking year-end already!
This year's New Year Resolution of learning how to tie a tie (?) crashed and burned ages ago and I have no such ambitions as giving it a shot now.
However I did master another art, that is just as tricky and requires just as much concentrated power of will.
*drumroll*
I... have learnt... how to get... a screenshot!
Woot! I'm the King of the worrrrrrrld! Wooohooo! xD

Newsflash: So, my new poll is up.
Kindly vote. Thanks!

Erm. Apart from watching good sitcoms, bad movies and stuffing my face with meat, I'm not doing much these days. Guess a semester straight out of hell usually has such an impact. Whatevs.
Plans of giving my room a "total makeover" went kaput. As did my much-dreamt-about trip to Mumbai did. 36 hours in that city and I was down with a case of food poisoning. Uggh.
Guhhhreat place to shop though!
That reminds me. *tears rolling down my quivering lips*
I saw the coziest... snuggliest... and by every measure the hottest Arsenal FC pullover ever.
It would've cost me a bomb but...

but...

but...

IcouldntbuyitbecauseI'dshoppedforSOfuckingMUCHalready!
Waaaaaaaaaaahh! x'((

Shopping budget, die.

* * *

Three things no one has said to me in the longest time:

"Bon appetit!"

"You're beautiful..." (Hey it's absolutely OK to want to hear that sometimes, alright? Don't you judge me! Wait. What? Are you judging me? Are you really judging me on that?! Haha whoa, that's low. No, no that's really low like. No, really? Alright go ahead be a bitch. Yeah go for it. If it helps you sleep at night, go ahead alright? Judge. It's whatever. I don't care care anymore. Judge me. Yeah. Pooh! I don't give a rat's fucking ass. I don't. Go ahead. Whatever alright. WHAT. EV. ER.)

"Just stop talking for fuck's sake!" (This, I never get. I mean NEVER. Honest.)

* * *

Mirror mirror on the wall... What the *%^&@!# happened?
Note to self: You're becoming fat, bitch. Get out and run or you will die alone and friendless.
~~Yeah so I've been doing a lot of research on french fries~~. Yeah, bollocks.

* * *

This post is second in the series of clues being thrown at you to remind you that I'm yet alive.
I'll be back soon, lovelies, have a great thanksgiving!
And cheers to whatever is left of November- my second most favourite month on the calendar! :D

xo

PS: Check this. FTW.

Writer's block.

2010-10-13T23:24:00.006+05:30

It's a lie.
There's no such thing.

I think I just fell in love with Marlon Brando

2010-04-14T15:24:00.021+05:30

Yes, it's true. I'm not saying anything more. I may just wet myself.

* * *

It has come to my attention (and stayed there long enough so writing this post was possible) that:
Almost everyone on facebook has an album called "random". Even boys.
So bleeding gay. That's not even it. There are gay-er variants:
randoms, random clix and randomzzzz: Uggh! Get a thesaurus fuckers.
And this is the worst:
"R@|\||)OM!!!"
Thhu!
Similarly, almost every girl on blogspot has written a post about a boy who's left her heart broken and scarred for life and how as a result of that she is drowned in sorrow and cannot eat/sleep/fart like before and how she wishes she'd never ever met him in the first place.
Guilty as charged.
I think it's a phase thing. Ah well.
Talking about phases, remember "the phase" when you wanted to cut your hair short and wear black eye make up and get tattoos and body piercings everywhere to rebel against society's ridiculous norms? Wait, that's not a phase- that's just gay. Mpfft hahahaha! I should totally be a stand up comedian. I'll just kill people with my jokes... Wow!
Eeeks. Nothing. Ignore me. I'm a retard.

Me: More facebook bashing, who's game?
From inside my monitor: *roars, thunderous clapping and wolf-whistles*
Me: Ok let's go!

#1 So this bitch of an application tags me in random photos.
"Who's been viewing your profile the most this week?"
Wtf?! I haven't once visited this person's sorry excuse of a profile full of Farmville news.
So shove it. I'm untagging.
But, well, that's not to be:
I hit remove tag and instead of removing the picture right away,
"A validation error occurred" apparently.
Er? I don't think you heard me. REMOVE TAG.
"A validation error occurred".
REMOVE TAG, bitch!
"A validation error occurred".
Aaaaaaaagh! Irritating. I have NOT "visited XYZ's profile 66 times this week". What the fuck.
20 minutes of brainstorming and I decided to report abuse.
Problem solved. Case closed. The photo doesnt show on my profile anymore.
Master stroke eh?
Well :D

#2 IPL-related status messages :|
Yeah. Ok. We all watch the matches and we all read the papers. Stop flooding my homepage with updates of who won and how "superbly" they won. Stop telling me how you almost "died of tension" and how unbelievable that 108 m sixer was. AND STOP DOING IT EVERYDAY.
*nauseous*

#3 The chat widget: Do we even need to discuss this? :|

* * *

Dear God,

My heart is broken and I'm scarred for life and as a result of that I'm drowned in sorrow and cannot eat/sleep/fart like before and I wish...
Wait. Shit! Didn't I already use that for the heartbroken blogger chicks' bit?
Hmm. Lets start over.

Dear God,

There was a time when I was not gay. I used to drink like a fish and remain perfectly stable all night. I used to chug down white rum- neat. I used to drink three Long Island Iced Teas and ride back home safely. I used to smoke weed and have a good trip. I used to laugh like a mad girl and slowly calm down.
But these days- one, ONE, joint and I hit rock bottom. I fall quiet and all I see are alphabets and symbols. My mouth stops working. I cannot move and stay rooted to the spot. I feel like I'll die if I don't sleep that minute. I fucking pass out before 2 am.
By the time I wake up, the party is over, the sun is shining and all my friends are leaving.
It's happened twice already.
No more! No more!
Is this how men with serious ED feel?
I completely sympathise with them.
:'(
I want my capacity back.
Please. Help me. :'(

* * *

LAMB OF GOD will be in town in less than a month.
W00t!
I. Cannot. Wait.

*bows down low*

* * *

Come back next time to read about "a date gone horribly" wrong and other stories.
Be good, leave comments.
Bye! :)

For your nostrils only

2010-03-23T15:10:00.017+05:30

It's better than George Clooney deciding to show up on my doorstep.
It's better than the thought of him kissing me passionately.
It's better than sex.

That smell: It is intoxi-fucking-cating. It's crazy.
I'm talking about Naphthalene balls. Moth balls, if you will.
I'm addicted to them. Period.

~~So addicted, that I stuff my nostrils with them and t~~
NEVERMIND.

But seriously- I discovered an unopened box of these precious little babies while cleaning my room last week. I ripped it open and sniffed:
GOD DAYMN!
Something seized every cell in my body; twisted it upside-down-inside-out at the same time and I was orgasming for 20 whole minutes.
I couldn't put the damn thing down till I started writhing and my dog almost called the ambulance.
So good. SO GOOD. Oh!
It got me thinking:
Is there a way I can, surgically, make them a part of my body?
You know... Get tiny naphthalene ball implants somewhere up my nose?
Or tweak the olfactory lobe in my brain so I get the feeling of inhaling it all day long? Ahh! *drools*
(complete silence)
Er? Someone please tell me something can be done? Hello?!
Hey! Science and technology has surely advanced that much!
Hmph!

Reactions I got regarding this "situation":
Friend 1: The hell?! Weirdo!
Friend 2: Dude! Its like that Erazex shit! You'll fuck yourself over!
Friend 3: I've to post a letter. Bye.
Pen-pal: Er. It's not normal you know.
Mum: ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यम्...
Sister: Cancer! Cancer! Cancer! Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
Dog: I'll put the doctor on speed dial.

In my defence: It's not a big deal. I only spend a few hours with them daily and I seem to be functioning OK. Sigh!

* * *
Bloggers, bloggers and Roman bloggers, lend me your ears; I come to talk...
and I won't take long, I promise. So here goes :P

Girls make the W.O.R.S.T. friends. It's true. *puke*

Taco Bell opened a few blocks from my house. Guess what I've been doing?

I'm part of this theater group called Cult. And my tiny little theater debut happened this month- I was part of a play called GOD by Woody Allen. Grand eh? :D
I played a cougar. Ahem. I'm skipping this part when I'm telling my grandchildren the story.

Anne Robinson is just fucking annoying.

I finally saw Avatar in 3-D. Visually: EPIC.
Story? Wow, Bollywood's done better. Honestly.

Arsenal plays Barcelona in the UEFA quarter finals :'(
Dead.

I saw the funniest Facebook status update. It went:
"XYZ is on a cram-overdrive... and hallucinating.
I think my notebook just barked at me! =O"

For more laughs check out www.failblog.org.
Oh and please go get a dekko of The Annoying Orange on YouTube. The earlier episodes are dope! xP

Mmm... What else what else what else?
Oh yeah! Zoozoos! The latest set of Zoozoo ads are pretty sucky.
They are not cute anymore. Not even clever. They've lost their charm. Sigh.
I hate the stupid ugly yellow tiger and hate the stupid green trees.
Is it just me? Bla.

Well...
That's all I wanted to say.
So be good, you guys. Get drunk.
I'll write soon... ish. Found myself an internship you see! ;)

Bye!

P.S. What's happening in Bangalore on the 15th of May?
That's right. It IS true.
\../. .\../
Couldn't help myself. Wait for the next post.

2010-02-21T10:42:00.004+05:30

Horror Show (Vol. 1)

2010-01-14T15:02:00.006+05:30

You know your weekend will jump straight into a pool of shit when:

You decide your second date with a Brazilian dude should be at a nightclub.
Tequila's on the house.
You don't have to drive back.
This guy you randomly made out with sometime back, knows your date. (!)
Tequila's on the house.
You're drinking like the world's ending in 1.46 minutes.
You're high and deny it.
Your date starts looking like a hazy blur.
On your way to the loo you trip and fall.
Tequila's on the house.
On your way to the parking lot, you trip, roll down an entire flight of stairs.
You puke in the backseat of his friend's shiny new Merc.
You puke some more. Where? You don't even remember.
You're passed out right through the drive home; marinating for an hour, in your vomit.
Once the car stops, you stumble out, fall flat and scrape your knees.
Your friends put you to sleep and clean your wounds with whiskey.

And... And. AND:

Your friends tell you that while you were passed out, they caught you snoring.

*heart fucking attack*
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
There are moments in life when sheer embarrassment renders you incapable of normal speech and makes you want to head to a town where nobody knows you so you can adopt a couple of puppies and grow old in absolute anonymity.
This was one such.

Rot in hell, tequila, you motherfucking bitch!
Die!

Image courtesy: Photoshy's photostream @ FlickR.

Wanted: Internship!

2010-01-05T20:02:00.012+05:30

Waaaaaah! x'(
Waaaaaaaaaaaah!! x'(

Dear Santa,
I've been a good girl:
a) I got drunk a lot
b) I did not chew up anyone's furniture, and
c) scammed my daddy for Rs. 1000 only twice
Then why-oh-why didn't I get what I asked for? I made, but, one simple request.
One. Simple. Request.
And you- of all the people- know this is something I wanted with all my heart:

*Spongebob Squarepants socks*
I mean, seriously, was that too much to ask for?
:'(
You've let me down Santa... *sniff* No, you've really let me down :'(
Well, anyway...
Until next year when I'll want favours from you,

Suck it, bitch!

* * *

You know you're headed for intellectual doom when:
You know every song on Vh1's Top 5 Party Songs of 2009 (with complete lyrics)

* * *

By the way, all these "salesmen"? You know... The ones that go door-to-door trying to sell you funny stuff?
Who buys from them? Ever?
Forget buying- have you ever observed people even open the door more than 3.4 inches for a salesman?
...So there's him dying to sell you (in screwed up English) his Set of 6 Cook-Books @ 50% off or that "electric bat that swats mosquitoes" which he swears you'll never-ever find in any showroom.
And there's us, trying to force the door shut saying "illa illa... beda..." taking care that his nose doesn't get squashed in the process.
Whew!
Entertaining eh?
I'm thinking ke bhaiyya, paapi pet ka sawal hai...

* * *
What's been up eh?

-First year is almost over. I have to step into the "real world" and find an internship.
Reminds me of those scenes in Bollywood movies:

... a young lad of 22-23 (sole support of an ailing mother and blind sister) stands all day in queues outside those tall buildings hoping to get a job; he's just about reached the front of the line and a funny looking man (fully conscious of cameras around) enters and slaps the "NO VACANCY" sign on the front doors. The sun scorches on mercilessly, as a drop of sweat trickles down the hero's forehead...

HAHA! Just a thought!
So yeah.. "Internship". Top bug of 2010.

-I'm thinking of giving Wordpress a shot. I've heard its pretty cool.
But... I'm so afraid that it will do to this blog, what Facebook did to my Orkut usage, that I refuse to think about the idea and call myself a retard thrice a day to have thought such a thing.

-College is bustling full-speed-ahead (or not) : We had to write a jingle for a "hair restoring gel" today. Ahem.
My jingle sucked komodo-dragon balls.

-I think the lady next door knows that I smoke! I was smelling like an ash-tray and got stuck in the lift with her; she covered her face with her saree ka pallu and made retching actions. The asshole.

-Joke of the day:
Q: How is Santa Claus different from Tiger Woods?
A: Santa stops at 3 Ho's.
Bwahaha!

-I'm seeing someone! :D
Yup. An artist pretending to be an automobile engineer. He's obsessed with music and we smoke pot together. Haha!

* * *

The year so far?
Runny nose, pending projects, unfinished poems, and a leaky faucet.
Sigh.

News flash

2009-12-16T13:06:00.007+05:30

Clueless, the 20 year old bundle of useless talent and a shining star of the Poor-Jokes world is on the brink of death. Stressful college activities are reported to have pushed her to the edge, though experts suggest it could be due to nicotine or alcohol overdose or both.

Last heard, clueless's "Project hot-bod for Christmas & New Year" had taken off with a bang only to crash-landed on day 3 due to her enlightenment about class tests from 17th of this month through 19th.
She is reported to have cried inconsolably at the failed mission. Though top sources tell us that she is secretly overjoyed at the thought of lazing in bed for "a few more precious hours" every morning.
We do not know whom to believe.

We're interrupting this broadcast to get you I-swear-I-dont-know-what.
Oh. Ooops. Sorry.
What you're going to hear now is the voice of clueless. We've managed to establish telephone contact with her:

"Hey there readers... *cough* These assholes have already told you everything that has to be told... Just that I really miss posting here... but I am busy and almost dead *cough cough* Will post soon... I also have a few announcements to make when I return... Ahem. Love you guys. Thanks for the patience. *gasp* Nurse!! Water! WATER! Aaaa... ... ..."

Welcome back. Fresh reports coming in about... er... Christmas decorations for her blog and a "poll" if I'm not mistaken. Yes. They're going to be up shortly . Polls, we hear, were a popular feature of her blog back in 2008.

We do not have any footage to show you; no File photos of her "in happier times" either.
We don't know what else to say.
We're experiencing technical glitches.
(That always works.)

...and everything.

2009-11-01T12:08:00.015+05:30

Obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Lollipops and a yo-yo.

Go ahead; drop your hat
and laugh,
gargoyle face.

20 candles...
and here we are...
A table for two in butterfly-town.
A lecture on "the proper noun"

To paint me a smile,
then walk for a mile.
To hold onto air,
and call it "angel from my nightmare"

Toy soldier.
My endless fight;
my sleepless night.
Superhero
...and everything.

The Ugly Truth... (Everybody has one)

2009-10-25T09:34:00.015+05:30

Psychology is dull.
I had a test on "Study of gender differences".
See, that is a just a tiny part of my psychology syllabus that explores everything from modules of memory, to intelligence theories, and biological basis of behaviour.
Dull.
So I started going through the stupidly typed out "points to remember".

-Men naturally exhibit qualities to do with leadership, aggression, and independence.
-Women possess traits involving warmth, nurturance and sensitivity.
*Yawn*
-Women do not state the facts outright, but tend to add question tags.
eg. "Its cold today, isn't it?"
No thanks, not me.
-Men talk assertively and state facts outright.
So much easier. Hmm.
-Women are better at transmitting and decoding non-verbal cues (involving facial expression, eye contact, body postures and movements). They can tell what another person means/wants by observing and mentally analysing these cues.
They do? Am I missing something here? If a man scratches his balls, isn't he just itchy? End of story, no? What's to fucking decode?!
-Women view aggression as loss of self control, thus, avoid it
Ha! Gay bitches.
-Men view aggression as an exercise in self control over others, as a result of challenge to their self esteem.
See? That's more like it! I still remember. Dyutidhar. Bitch-slapped him right across the face!
-Causes for gender differences... blah... Berenbaum and Hines... blah blah 1992 study... assessment of children's preferences in toys... blah...
Toys...
Toys.
I never had a barbie doll. Barbie is gay.
Soft toys- nope. Teddy bears- hell no. No pink shit. No frocks. No baby pictures of me with long, brushed, pretty hair. I'm covered in mud in half my photos. I'm bruised/bleeding/crying in the rest.
The words rang in my head:
Barbie dolls... Aggression... Nurturance... Body postures... toys... mud... bruises... differences. GENDER DIFFERENCES.

I'm..... I'm....? not? *sob* Am I not....? *sniff sniff*
I have more boy-traits than girl traits. *sniff*
After all those hours spent every morning to shave my legs? After all these years of sitting down and peeing? *sob*

"But what the hell! I have boobs! I've had them forever" I said to myself as I broke down.
"Adi has boobs." said an evil voice that came from the very depths of my head.
"Shut up motherfucker" I said to the evil voice that came from the very depths of my head.

Then, I heard a bodiless 'good' voice. I wiped the tears off my face. With a very business-like tone, it asked me a few questions.

Do you know about the latest sensation in the gadget world?
"No."
What are 'stocks' and 'shares'?
"Dunno."
RSS feeds? BitTorrent??
"No idea."
Do you get drunk and talk about sex?
"Yes."
Do you follow Star Wars?
"Nope!"
Do you watch football only because of the hot guys and not know what 'offside' means?
"Darn right!" *giggle*

Congratulations, clueless. You are a girl.
You are as much a girl as Edward Cullen is gay.

"Oh! Thank you bodiless 'good' voice with a very business-like tone! Thank you ever so much! I can peacefully go to sleep now and think about unnecessary things to spend a lot of money on!
Goodnight..."

Predictable, aren't I?

2009-10-16T23:49:00.006+05:30

aapko
mummy ko
pappa ko
munna/munni ko
best friend ko
girlfriend ko
pados wali aunty ko
doodh wale ko
kaam bai ko
doggie ko
meow ko

Happy diwali!
Have a bright and shiny one! :)

What's exams got to do with it?

2009-10-08T19:54:00.021+05:30

Everything.

My end semester exams start on October 12th
*faints*

-Rewind to a few days back-

Me: (beaming) I've done really well in the tests! :D
Dad: (from behind the newspaper) Of course you did, you are older than everybody else in class.
Me: Er... hello? I really did well...
Dad: (in some kinda trance) You had better get a distinction. All your cousins have completed graduation! No excuses! Top the college! I want to see a gold medal!
Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahha!
Haha. It's B.A. I'm doing. They wont give me a gold medal even if I take the exam under the fricking ocean and top the class.
Dad: (in total trance) Don't say that. Work hard. Have faith. You can do it. You Can Win. One Minute Manager. Who moved My Cheese? First, Break All The Rules. 7 Habits of Habits of Highly Effective People. (yes, I said total trance)
Me: Er... Bye dad.

* * *
Its 3 days, 85 hours and 5001 minutes for exam to start and I have questions:

Why does my best friend decide to buy that dark, gloomy cloud and hang it right over my head?
Why must the cutest boy in town message me all the time when I have 5 full units to study?
Why does my dad suddenly decide to "let's have a drink tonight, beta?"
Free fucking whiskey- like I'll ever refuse.
Why is my blow-job of a neighbor bursting crackers all day- at regular intervals of time?
Motherfucker, it ain't diwali yet and I'm really trying to study.
And why does my other neighbor suddenly want to drill a zillion holes in his wall?!
If he goes on for one more day, I swear he'll be the first of our species to have two assholes.
Why did my sister bring the world's-most-amazing-movie-collection home?
How can I fall asleep while studying, 6 times in a row?
How the fuck can I still be watching TV & eating potato chips all day?
Who replaced my appetite with a whale's?!

Synopsis:
Exams- they're here.
I have just 2 million distractions to battle.
I just cant stop eating for fuck's sake.
Calorie intake surpasses actual requirement by light years.
Seratonin OD. I cant even stay awake long enough to figure out "functions of the hippocampus"
Exams- they're here.
*dies*

"New Post! Awwwww!"

2009-09-22T01:20:00.010+05:30

You've hounded your friends for weeks now.
The pictures have finally reached you.
You've finally made that new album on Facebook.
You've tagged your friends.
And then....
5 minutes later
*Retry* And then...
15 minutes
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

My big, fat, conniving, song writing, sudoku-solving head couldn't come up with a single interesting caption for a single damn photo!

I think it has happened. It's a sign. I know I've hit the bottom.
It's that time in your life when all those girls- in your class, in the corridor, in the canteen, in the quadrangle; girls who cry because they miss their hamster, girls who hug each other because the are hungry, girls who talk like movement of vocal chords is fatal- have finally defeated you.

Seriously how are you supposed to think clever/come up with cool stuff when all you hear is bimbo-talk from 8 am to 3 pm (and sometimes even in your nightmares)?

Dear God,
Do you want to know how my class is?
They dont watch the news.
They dont know what Twitter is.
They think Edward Cullen secretly watches them sleep.
They cant spell "medulla oblongata"
Their favourite word is "awwwwwwwwwww" with exactly that many w's in it.
So let me know when I can hang myself.
Waiting to hear from you real soon!

Sample this:
In creative writing class, we were given the topic "cold nights"
20 among the class of 33 wrote:
"snuggled in a warm blanket... by the fireplace... hot cup of coffee... reading P.S. I Love You/thinking of a special someone"

Yes. I'm starting a campaign to create awareness about the fact that the grey cells in your brain can actually be used.

Sigh..... I miss chaos...

I gotta go find a nice, strong rope.
Oh and one huge request:
Don't ignore my blog. Please.
Without your love and comments, it'll die :'( :'(
I'll write soon.

*The not so great quality of this post must explain what I was trying to say.

Get up! GET UP! Sing the birthday song!!

2009-08-23T01:04:00.007+05:30

Its my blog's very first birthday today!
I think I'm going to cry!
:')
Aaaaaaaa! Feels awfully longer though, to be honest...
I remember what my blog was fiiiiirst called:

*sudden flashback*

"Tragedy of Errors"
Hahaha... Cheesy or what?
Well, in my defense, this was at a time when everything was going nightmarish-ly wrong for me.

...A small Christmas makeover later, I rechristened my blog "This Will Keep Changing"
(I called my other blog "This Though, Will Remain As Is")
You see?
Ahem.

Months passed. Boredom struck.
I decided I want the blog to be called "C'est la vie". I went ahead and regretted immediately.
It was quite dead for my liking.
So I thought about a newer title.
Couldn't come up with anything that didn't sounded like a clone of something that was already out there.

Along came my birthday- and then it hit me:
"Hey! Let me scream to the world that I'm twenty now!"
"Hey! Let me also scream to the world that I have a million problems!"

Quite a story... Hmmm...
Then again, not much has changed. I'm still clueless, aren't I? :P

Hugs going out to everybody who reads my crap.
Super-duper thanks to:
-rohith for being my very first "follower"
-rahul for consistently being the first comment on most of my posts :) :)
- manu for giving amazingly honest critique
-adi, akshay, pappu, goirick, prithvi raj, tom, kraven and dzi for the boost!

Thank you axedude- you are the sole reason I started this blog...
And in many corners this still is about you & me, who sadly enough, can never be....

Ladies, gentlemen and Edward Cullen (you gay bitch!)
You are now looking at a just-turned-one
"Acne and other troubles of a 20 year old"

:)

threadbare excuses

2009-07-30T00:24:00.007+05:30

"ooh! technology!"

small world. smaller people.

quite late.

what is 'pain'?

cats purr. dogs talk.

but wait-

define "awesome time"

jarring note. lets vote.

(sedate)

heard Mozart is in town.

silly fucking world. silly fucking people.

celebrate?

Verbal constipation

2009-06-29T22:53:00.009+05:30

Commence "Operation blurt-your-problem-on blogger-dot-com-so-people-you-hardly-know-yet-love-can-give-you-advice". Now.

Ok people! I am having a huge issue with my speech these days!

I cannot string four meaningful words together! No!

Sample this:

17 year old classmate: "Hi! How you doing today"

Me: "*pause* er.. sunshine.. healthy.. er.. gbgbb.. dbb.. gllgg"

17 year old classmate: "Oh! Hmmm what class do we have now? Any idea?"

Me: "*pause* yeah.. i think.. its that... gddg.. lady.. you know.. short.. uhhq.. fat.. ghhg.. er.. lady."

17 year old classmate: "Are you ok?"

Me (nodding at the speed of a high frequency oscillator): "hmm! ghhg."

Her: "Er ok bye!"

Me: "*long pause* ggghbg."

What an embarrassment! I must've looked like I was trying to control potty!

Not just her, each time there is a discussion in class or a gossip-session going on, my vocal chords decide to start shagging! No matter how carefully the words constituting my response are chosen and arranged- my tongue refuses to move in my mouth! Bitch!

And so, all that the class can hear, are my slobbery little gghgs and bddbds and ulkks.

:'(

I think its the sudden switch from being highly unsocial to lots of hey's and hi's and introductions and blah.

Dear rapid fire tongue,

I miss you. Please come back.

-gagged

I chanced upon this little furball at www.corsini.co.uk.

Reminds me a lot of my once-active Gundu :)

Sigh!

Hmmm... I'm gonna google around for some yogasanas for my stiff fucking tongue!

See ya'll soon!

PS: I gave Twilight a shot. Stephanie Meyer's "international bestseller".

BORING!

300 pages in, I decided that book is shit and didnt bother finishing it.

Blah!

2009-06-04T15:37:00.019+05:30

And this morning I caught myself doing the weirdest thing, on a whim.
No forethought or any form of planning had gone into it...

Menus appeared, disappeared as I wordlessly searched away... Soon the rapid mouse-clicking and continuous keyboard-jabs of the past 20-25 minutes had given way to some serious déjà vu...

My PC speakers, which are otherwise conditioned to scream aloud numbers by Children of Bodom, were happily crooning almost-forgotten tunes from black and white movies, when it was still legal for the heroine to have curves.

yeh dil na hota bechara
kadam na hote aawara...
jo khoobsoorat koi apna
humsafar hota...

I flopped back on my bed, reminiscing...
This was exactly how it was, some ten years back, summer holidays in good old Jodhpur.
Raj Kapoor and Nargis on a rainy night; when cassettes still ruled supreme, Mohammad Rafi... Khoya khoya chaand... Kishore Kumar's magic, RD Burman's trippy numbers... And aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai...
I miss those broken songs... of not having known the meaning of those words... innocently singing along nevertheless; out of tune and wrong lyrics.
:)

Tapping my feet to sheer nostalgia I decided to go web hunting for nothing in particular...
Here's something I came across on Zafra's Flickr page :

Good eh?
Exactly the kind of stuff that keeps my plans, of opening my own art studio someday, alive and kicking! :D
Shh! Just a little business plan that I'll think of after menopause :P

* * *
And oh! I cannot express how happy I am that I am out of a life that would require me to get fucked, doggy style by a slut called Calculus every night before exams!
Lord, you are kind! :D
Mighty respect though, to people who enjoy it. (I mean the subject, of course) :P

* * *
Ladies and gentlemen!!
Its now time for today's handy tip, in my new segment called.. er well..
"Today's Handy Tip!"

Q. What are you to do when your neighbor's 9 year old has puked so much that the euuugh!-factor has pervaded into your house, right up your nostrils and is molesting your olfactory lobe while you are working on your computer/laptop/any other gadget that is designed to give you cancer or worse upon prolonged exposure?
My handy tip:
"Procure a 100 ml bottle of your favorite fruit concentrate shampoo and sniff on it continuously till you pass out."

* * *
Bulletin board courtesy Clueless's Random News Bureau:

-The much talked about 10 Rupee coins were launched recently!

I think they look pretty fancy... but it ends there.
Do tell me what you think of these.

-Girls! Retail therapy works! (like you needed another soul confirming it!)
So, if you are feeling hopelessly low: hit the shower, get dressed, steal your dad's credit card and go shopping.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
And if all those shopping bags in your hand still don't get you going, get some part of your body pierced.
Cheaper than getting a tattoo and it does NOT hurt much! :D

-Boys! Here's something I read in a glossy, waiting, outside the dentist's:
"Flowers die, photographs fade but bras & panties last forever or at least until you rip them off..."
Haha!
No I'm not saying buy her lingerie! What am I? Some kind of free advertising agency? NO!
I'm saying make love while the sun shines, baby!!
That will make you a satisfied hence calmer person at office, on the road, at lunch, and even while doing the dishes, thus helping you contribute to world peace.

- And oh!! Nadal ousted from ze French Open! *shriek* what next? Cows that cant fly? Or lions that roar? Oh my god! Such impossibility! :|
Sorry for the sarcasm but this one's for the people who said "Feddy looks cute in tears" and things...
Nefarious Demon? Listening? :P
Its OK to lose.

-Is this really going anywhere?
No duh!
(-_-)

I'll write soon!
Ta!

Why?

2009-06-02T00:01:00.020+05:30

June 13, 2008 at 10:54 am
"Just got 8.0 in the IELTS!"

June 25, 2008 at 12:07 pm
You wrote that you were "confused, frustrated, distraught, nostalgic and yet perfectly happy about it all."

June 27, 2008 at 9:55 am
". . .is losing faith, losing control, losing it all...."

July 2, 2008 at 1:49 pm
"is blogging his heart out and is hoping someone will eventually get the message..."

You put me to sleep one night. And then, you were gone...

Today, nearly a year later, I'm sitting here going through the pages of your "book" that the world reads... Older pages... Pages from the time when I wasn't a part of the site yet.

I'm in tears and absolutely heartbroken.

I only have one thing to ask you:
Why?

Why did you not say to me the very things I wanted to hear?
Why did you have to strut breezily all over town with so much in your head?
Why did you say nothing?

I'll never know...

Maybe some things are better left unsaid.
It maybe that some questions do not have answers after all.

And on September 12, 2008 at 4:16 pm you wrote:
"the rain, the cold, the wind, the pain! and yet, it feels like it should!"

House hunting

2009-05-17T20:09:00.008+05:30

Should we move to the outskirts and buy a house there?
Should we just keep this house and rent a big apartment?
Can we afford to take another housing loan?
Is it a good time to sell at all?

Sunday mornings spent poring over the classifieds.
Rows and rows of houses screaming to be bought.
A hopeful phone call after reading the one ad that "feels right".
Talks. Negotiation.
Houses spread right across the city. Apartments. Houses with gardens.
Houses without gates (!). Big houses. Small houses. Duplexes- sigh!
Dilemma.
Headache.

I must've seen all kinds of houses and spoken to a helluva lot of types of people in the past few months!
And the fact remains:
We are yet to find ourselves a warm little nest! :(
If one house has a very unflattering view from the windows, the other cant boast of a parking space :|
The "perfect house" is either too fricking expensive or on planet Uranus!
And if by chance a house fits perfectly in our budget, then... ahem... the owner becomes mortally allergic to dogs!

wtf.

And each time I come as close to it as having picked "my room" and "where the bean bag will go" and "purple drapes... definitely purple!'' it slips right out of our hands and right into the rejected-houses-list.

This is harder than I thought it would be... Tch.
Hmph!

God I feel 40! :|

I ♥ you, pally!

2009-05-12T08:43:00.024+05:30

And today, people, I'm letting you in on my latest obsession!
Turn around your boring tank top/ t-shirt into a statement.
Behold!

Short for Palestinian scarves, "the pally" sure is making a lot of heads turn!
Personally, I'm lovin' it!
Big thank you to that article in Bangalore Times of course :)
Now run out and get one already!

* * *
Things heard/read/said over the month gone so swiftly by:

"This is a nightmare. Please wake me."
Art Vandelay said this of Arsenal's horror show at the UEFA semis.

"Democracy died with the hippies..."
-the front man of Utopia (rocking out at a college fest near you)

"The actual useful people are never really your friends."
He calls it 'Sandy's theory of life'. Ahem.

"The future ain't what it used to be."
Yogi Berra

"Music is Pink Floyd."
Cyrus Broacha

They call it PMS because mad cow disease was taken.
Read somewhere on the world wide web; author anonymous.

"You haven't been to Goa? What? Seriously? Why have you not been to Goa?! I cant believe you haven't been to Goa!" said a tanned friend recently back from where-else-but-Goa.

What is common b/w Gandhiji and Shah Rukh Khan?
Both of them returned to India after getting insulted in South Africa. :|
This is the stupid SMS that woke me up today. LAME.

"Hey! You are becoming a Page3 person! How disgusting! :-) "
-the friend who sends me e-books :P

"Red Bull is made from bull sperms... Yep... You didnt know that? It has bull semen in it. Processed of course. Hey! You know... I think you can put that in your CV... "I've blown an angry bull and I don't spit! Hahaha!"
Revelation followed of course by violent retching and nausea.

"Looks like Arsenal should stop playing games at home! :D "
-Camel

"Ohhh! So... like... You are two years older than all of us...?"
as comprehension dawned upon the faces of those 17-somethings who I will be starting my grad course with :(

* * *
Hmm... So I'll be turning 20 soon.
Another year wasted. Spent done nothing the world might remember me by.
On the brighter side though, academic life is finally back on track! Yay! :D
I've guzzled down about 20 litres of Tropicana over the past week.
I also went to a nightclub after ages! Nirvana! :D
I saw a movie called The Unborn. Utter crap.

I'm reading this book called "Relationship Management: How not to piss off friends and be a good girlfriend and make your parents go 'awwww' and teach your dog how to play fetch."
It came free with a copy of "Are you depressed? Don't be! Read this book!"

* * *
Have you ever been showered with pee?
While passing under a railway bridge on your two wheeler? All dressed up?
Happened to me.
x((

Bon Appétit

2009-04-15T15:01:00.006+05:30

Before proceeding, please bear in mind that the mercury is soaring these days. Soaring sky high.

*A cousin of mine threw a barbecue party couple of days back.
*Went to a friend's birthday treat at a punjabi dhaba the day before.
*Last night again, my mad, drunk family dragged me to a... wait for it... KABAB STUDIO!
* Mum made eggs for breakfast this morning.
*My fucking tribal neighbor wont stop roasting garlic for her toxic chicken curries!!

That's it.

Talk about overdose! Eugghh!
I'm crying tears of blood so this would all just change and my tummy is no more subjected to such horror!
Anything not vegetarian is officially grossing me out!
I've even been retching in my sleep! X(

All i can think about is fruits and vegetables.
I really need a job at the greengrocer's...

Then again, maybe not.
Yuck!

I'll see you soon. Need to go barf now x(

.blind

2009-04-03T13:12:00.021+05:30

...and so i reach the end of the book.

"you never told me you wrote poems!
that was the nicest thing i've read..."
i see you smile,
that heart throbbing smile of yours.

Second time around, i pretend to read,
trying to figure out,
that cologne you're wearing.

i love the clever things you write
"there's more to you, than meets the lips"
wine? woman?
you could be talking about either,
i hardly know you...
seven years is just for the records.

its minutes to midnight,
your voice is doing things to me...
i just wish you'd keep talking all night,
and come a little closer,
only so i can hear you better...

you talk about friends and foes,
in a trance, i agree and nod.
mumbling, i string words together,
merely to prove i'm following,
and not thinking about him...

you sense me drifting, slowly away,
and offer me a drink.
i turn it down and wisely so,
your eyes are intoxicating me enough.

i liked that you asked me to dance,
i liked that you haven't changed a bit,
i hate lilies; but "hey... nice flowers"
the song is perfect, but i haven't waltzed before;
i've seen your face, but never looked before.

it sets me on fire when you look at me like that,
i'm hypnotized.
cant seem to break this gaze.
brainfreeze.
its a slow dance & still i'm breathless,
my knees feel weak; i think i'll succumb,
on a pitch black night
even sinning feels right
don't you see it yet...?
oh read between the lines...

his face disturbing me no more,
i'm inches away from letting go of reason.
silence has set in for the first time tonight,
but you decide let go & end our dance!

standing there; slightly unhinged,
i see you return,
hands full of parchment...
more silence, as i read these poems,
poems that you wrote for....
...me

* * *
quarter to three;
we've been speaking for hours now.
i like your whiskey breath...
i like it when you are this close to me...
and there's one last thing i need to say,

i'm drunk on you,
don't leave me here,
all high and dry...
just come with me to bed tonight,
i can no more tell green from red.
lets not discuss wrong and right,
for i'm blind, too blind tonight.

Postscript:
Written in the wait for the single guy I've loved all my life.
This is just a poem. I don't know what happened to him.

(s)nippet masala

2009-03-16T19:27:00.019+05:30

My head feels better now, albeit a tad too heavy...
So i'll just go ahead and start talking...
* please note that I've posted my new poll on the right side of the page,
do vote :)
-thanks-
Notes made over the past few weeks:
-YouTube has no real Oswald videos!!! (Yeah, the blue octopus from Tiny TV)
-This country has no hope. If you try and correct someone for something they did wrong, they ask you to "thika mucchu" and go home.
-Vodafone Chhota Credit is robbing me of my secret under-the-pillow 10 Rupee notes that I keep "for emergencies only"!
-Your nose will always itch after you've put your hands into the gooey chapati dough.
-India, broadly, has two kinds of people: The uneducated/uncultured people with money/power. And the educated/cultured people with no money/power.
-I decided that I should have decided to be a world class chef when I was 8.
-You will always get what you want; but never quite when you want it.

"We don't talk often, because well... we cant.
I'm feeling the distance sink in, which is not good.
Things are a bit strained; and I'd be over the moon if he thinks otherwise.
I wait for him to appear online for about 26 hours a day & that probably freaks him out.
It sure tires me.
Would be nice if he'd call someday."

I collected 1,200 fucking bucks for those shoes I've wanted for weeks now.
They're out of stock. At all three fucking stores...

a haircut gone wrong
marijuana
cash on hand
rain!
unsocial
an empty mailbox
nostalgia
void
tighter curfew
wow. life just keeps getting... more interesting.

-From this movie called Notting Hill:
"...the more I think about things, the more I see no rhyme or reason in life.
No one knows why some things work out and some things don't; why some of us get lucky and some of us... (get fired...)"

Parting shot:
I'm not a lazy blogger! Please don't delete me from your reader yet!
Lots of blog action promised for April!
(please say "Yayyy!" and clap now)

Gone fishin'

2009-02-27T03:18:00.013+05:30

caricature:
–noun
1. a picture or description, ludicrously exaggerating the peculiarities or features of a person's face.
I recently had an artist draw mine... And I'm not complaining.

kleenex.
children of bodom.
lace.
zener diode.
goa.
tick
tock
tick... tock...

Allow me, the blissfully ignorant one, to share some gyan with you:
* Don't ever wish that you could go back in time to change something that happened. Because hey, you are going back in time right? You cant go back back any smarter than you already were. Whats worse... you'll have to live it all again.
*Your boyfriend isn't shallow; you are probably looking like a garbage can. Just check.
*Take a bleeding heart and throw in a thesaurus; you now have a poet!
*Life is entertainment like no other. Just grab your pop corn and sit back.
*When your girlfriend has no currency to text message for two weeks straight; you're on your way to getting dumped.
*Save water. ~~Shower with your neighbour.~~ Don't shower.
*On a bad hair/face/ass day, smoke half a pack of cigarettes.
Works like magic.
* If you do not generally laugh when someone farts; you need immediate help.

I'm not doing very well, thank you.
i BLEW my chances of getting the Carlsberg Beer promotion happening all over town.
i have broken my glasses, again.
HAIRFALL!! X(
is it ok to feel vomit-y for 48 hours+ ?
is it not ok to lie down and have dinner?
i'm sick of this sweltering weather.
approximately 40% of the girls in Bangalore need to go get a life.
will you take me home?
I said "NO" to beer yesterday!!
Hence proved.

You see, i'm feeling a bit retarded.
I need to pull myself together... you know... get my act right.

So i'm off...

Leaving you here with...

...me!

Sayonara!

abandon my agony

2009-02-17T17:12:00.020+05:30

The night is dying
soon the sun will knock on my door
I reach for you again...
Want to touch you one last time...
knowing too well
that this dream will end, as dawn breaks...

Often, the morning breeze bothers me.
When "sweet nothings" become literally that,
is it too late to try and make things better?
Where is the sense in holding tight
when you've let go?

Once there was you
then you took my hand
and when we both sang
it felt like... living...

When summer ended
it snatched you away...
The fireplace just doesn't help anymore
& I've never been one to borrow a shoulder...
Its winter when you're away.
but its winter either way,
stone cold that you are...

How will speaking softly help?
You are scared as hell/that's how it seems.
You don't want the whole world knowing,
and say "not just yet..." but i know what that means.

And then there was me,
immaculate...
talking a lot
and walking the talk,
from a distance, of course...
...until the day
i stumbled...

lying here, chagrined, is painful...
there's a storm... in my head...
and a heart that aches...

but something isn't right...
wait.
it's you and me we're talking about here...
did i not tell you?
did i not promise?

Don't let go...
"not just yet" and you know what I mean...
make it worth the battles I've fought...
make it worth all those tears...
every night, ever since...

Redeem me of the pain...
take my hand and save my life...

*Title inspired by name of Bangalore based death metal band Abandoned Agony.

I randomly crave for certain eatables at un-godly hours.

2009-01-30T02:34:00.013+05:30

4 pm.
the other day:

I was starving.
The chapatis weren't tempting me.
I bought a pack of Britannia bourbon.

My mind was racing...
"Sorry my love, I have been unfaithful. I have been guiltily snacking on potato chips for a while now. Pardon me. But know this, I never forgot you... ever. Thought about you... all along....
Only you.
But do not weep, for I have to returned.
This is our destiny. I have you in my arms now. I ask for nothing more."

(at this point I take a break to laugh my butt off, oblivious to the bored/annoyed expression on YOUR face)

(I now continue the narration)

I ripped the packet open, which I noticed had changed (a considerable bit) over time.
With the gastric juices completely at work, I plunged my hand into the packet and pulled one baby out- all the while muttering "yum.... yum... yum...."
I gazed at it.

*whip cracking noise*
Eyes: widen in shock.
Salivary Glands: suddenly defunct.
Violins in the background: grind to halt.

One. Sugar. Crystal.
Just one bloody sugar crystal on the entire rectangular space...
What?? no!!
What happened to so many sugar crystals that used to almost cover the biscuit?!
I checked out the other pieces!
Same story.

My heart fell.
I felt like the Prince, who after being banished from his kingdom for epic-inspiring-reasons, returns to see it in evil hands.
In ruins.
Tears, then anger, consumed me!
I declared war!

(I now decide to cut out on anymore possible Ramayan-ish innuendos from this narration and mellow down my tone)

Disappointed, I finished the pack of sugar crystal deficient "bubbon bikki"... reminiscent... of the days in Jodhpur... and this biscuit then...
Sitting on the swing, I let the wave of mixed feelings crash against me. Over, and over again.
And I wordlessly asked no one in particular...
"you think they got them too? britannia little hearts... do you...?"
And I realised i had this well formed tear, sitting at the corner of my right eye...
I bent my head... closed my eyes...
It rolled right down...

* * * * * *

Its 4 bloody am.
I think I have insomnia.
Enrique's music is gay.
I want some hot, "full of flavour" melt-in-the-mouth seekh kababs.
Right now x(
I am salivating.
Like you aren't. biiiitch.
Willing to even go brush my teeth for it!
Its 4 bloody am.

* * * * *

More on "Why I'm listening to great music form the 40's, 50's and 60's" soon.
Also, listen in on what movie I watched over the weekend & how I killed a grizzly bear in an epic tale of love, nutrition and symbiosis.

Stuff I want to post about but cant find enough smart-ass words:
*cell phones (i want to throw mine away 'cuz it wont stop beeping.)
*insomnia
*valentine's day
*relationships
*dark circles
* and... about my "me nooo shut up, ever." disease

time: 0430 hours.
YAWN.
Good morning folks.
:|

New Post. ( i'm THAT bored)

2009-01-22T13:48:00.026+05:30

I'm feeling horrible today. My friends are on their way to Trichy*
I am not.
I am at home. Not travelling in a train. Not laughing my ass off at Adi. Not planning on how to have fun, the next seven days. Not worried about my luggage at all. No sirree.
Not fretting about strangers/thieves/cops.
And certainly not about how I'll be the only girl in the group.
*by the way it was Thrishur/ Trichur, not Trichy. Sorry folks.

"Activity: Write a letter to someone you have always wanted to, but have never had the time. Grades to be counted for final assessment."

Letter that didn't get an A+

Dear Indian moral police,
Screw you.
Long time... Haven't heard from you guys since... erm... Delhi camp....? Ah good ol' times. Hope all is rotten your end.

Lots to catch up on eh? But first I have to congratulate you upon your latest accomplishment...

I cant believe you think that an almost-20 year old girl, with an IQ of 112, and the best biceps in the group, will be:
a) incapable of protecting herself. Well big fucking shit if its a different state.
b) uncomfortable sharing rooms with boys. Yeah. My name is Apeksha Rao.
c) homesick/in a problem. 7 days for Lord's sake. Just 7 friggin' days.
d) whatever that shocked expression means. You people are sadists. And pussy. Oh and also, narrow minded. NARROW MINDED. Hey, did i mention "narrow minded"?

Hmmm... So... %&^$ @# ? $^ Ah? @#$%^* i do hope... And*!@$@ h#% d#$%^^* v $%&^ #$^%^f d$^% b &%* o&#$ It sure @$%&(. You $% ghd%eta f*#$ you definitely do $^^@#$... hmmm so how t$#^%?? Awwww... thats great to hear... %$&^ $^*^** #%% Yeah, *%&#$.

Until next time then...
Two middle fingers.
Rot in hell.

* * * * *

Feeling all sad, I got home from the railway station.
6:20 am.
Vh1.
Excuse me?

Yeah. That's him and that is him.
"Streets of Philadelphia" was playing.
That's when I realised... that... these two have almost ditto faces!

See??

Uncanny or what?

* * * * *

I force this upon my ears when I'm low and out.

Works. B-)

Do yourself a favour: Watch Rain Man.
1988. Dustin Hoffman, Tom Cruise.
With cleverly written dialogues, this is cinema that'll move you.

Hmmm so until I get my next salary, or that phone call from UK, or maybe even an itchy pimple.
bye!
=)

P.S.
All images in this post have been put together by me.
&
Yellow dresses, are F. A. B.
Period.

signed: clueless.

2009-01-04T01:57:00.023+05:30

So...
I'm currently ga-ga over:

POLAROIDS!

I mean, how fantastic are these things (right now)?
If you know me well, you'll know what's going on in my head.
"How much will a Polaroid cam cost? Wiki- here i come! Hmmm and what should I shoot when I get it..? Whats gonna be the caption for each shot...? How to convince dad? Hey I can take cool pictures with it for my blog. One everyday, like Ashley! Wow I love Polaroids!"

I recently saw a lot of these in a documentary on the Discovery channel, in "dostana" and hey, even visual DNA uses these! see? Polaroids are everywhere! :D

(Image used is a photograph taken by Jeff Zoet in 2005)

And guess what I'm gonna do now...?

talk some more! XD

*Try saying aloud, "wasps" or "tasks" even "grasps".
Notice the weird little noise at the end of each word- they're quite funny!
Me and my sister were studying one afternoon and discovered this.
Now try "bursts" :P

*The goth name generator called me "Trainwreck". Heck!!
It also called sudvrjcuw "Trainwreck".

*My mother had been trying to talk to anybody from the TataSky "helpline" for two days. Apparently the mechanical voice kept asking her to wait till they connected her to someone from technical support. I tried. It connected in no time.
"Don't tell them you are an existing customer ma, press the button they ask you to, for scheduling an installation. Someone will answer in under 10 seconds" I told her.
It happens only in India!

*Chances are, you'll be less bored on Facebook after 3 hours of logging in, versus 2 on Orkut.

*I just saw the first look of Dilli 6- Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra's "much awaited next". Sorry to say but it looks like a Saawariya (minus the blue) meets Bluffmaster and they fly to New York movie!
I really hope I'm wrong, and that there's more on offer.

*12 different people asked me 57 different questions today.
"I don't know" has been my answer.

*Yesterday I was just going through my music library. You know, through the old stuff which i haven't heard in the longest time And i came across an old favourite- Come Undone by Duran Duran... have heard it 23 times since.
Also playing: Billy Joel's She's always a woman to me. Two steps behind by Def Leppard, this track called Its all coming back to me now and Ronan Keating's When you say nothing at all... Also the almost dreamy Fable by Robert Miles.
I feel 14 again! :)
By the way, my sister finally got an i-pod (pink!!) as a late Christmas gift. So yayyy!
:D

* Have you noticed that I'm actually sounding cheerful? Unlike the 364 days of last year? I'll tell you why. Its because I know I have a way out. I just realised that I can always just get the hell out of engineering. So there's really nothing much to worry about and cry! =)

*From the ~~makers~~ maker of Orkutti and the Menu Card jokes:
Q: If they made a sequel to "Rock On!!" what would they call it?
Ans: Moron.
(as in, More-On!!)

If you didn't think my joke was funny, go on, take a dekko of this:

Still not funny?
You need to get laid.

this will test your patience.

2009-01-01T09:59:00.016+05:30

I'll just go ahead and say that 2008 was a crazy bitch.
I don't like crazy bitches.

All I remember from the year that has just about gone by, is:
a) getting drunk
b) crying

As on 1st of January, 2008:
weight: 62 kg.
hairdo: crap.
dressing sense: crap. transition phase clothes.
relationship status: great (i thought)
emotional rape count: 12
my phone: nokia 6030 :|
financial status: broke.
other status: non blogger, free of piercings, year back virgin, w/o a camera, depressed.

Flashback then, of the year that was:

January: One drunken welcome to 2008.
navel piercing!
one near death incident.

February: The great Indian ditching ceremony- I was left alone and shagging on valentines day :|
Meanwhile, one cry by Reethesh made me the the butt of all jokes. "Jain college sucks" he screamed. Every other person in Ambedkar college gladly joined him. Boo ya!

March: I met two boys at this restaurant. One was the birthday boy, the other boy was all about "how to wear shades in the dark and make them look good".

April: I sat at home thinking how fun life in Jain college was.

May: My budday! :D I got calls till 2 in the morning which was great because in 2007, only 6 people wished me. (Yes, family and dog included)

June: The don't-attend-a-single-lecture month.

July: I'll call this month "the dark knight festival". I started writing again. Cried all night, July 29th after reading something in Jogi's Orkut scrapbook...

August: The great Indian flunk-athon. I died. So did my parents' hopes. But what the heck, other then the bad-ass Ramnagar trip, I cant remember anything else. \,,/. ye ye!

September: Partying with drunk uncles and aunts.

October: Partying with drunk uncles and aunts.

November: The jungle holiday at Kabini! :D

December: I had to be home alone for almost a week. C'mon! do your math! B-)

As on 1st of January, 2009:
weight: 61 kg.
hairdo: definitely feminine.
dressing sense: B-)
relationship status: great (touch wood)
emotional rape count: 36,004.
my phone: ~~xpressmusic 5610~~ A samsung phone that weighs 4 kg.
financial status: ka ching!
other status: active on the blogosphere. Navel: pierced. Year back- been there, yawn...

Quick check...

-Work done over the year:
Reassessing my "people I should kill before I die" list.
-Goals accomplished:
"look feminine at the end of 2008" whew!
"take up part time jobs" Check. B-)
-Old friends I caught up with:
Deepu... finally! :)
&
The University of Melbourne grad student (ahem) and gang :D

-The biggest realisation of 2008:
Reading the newspaper/ watching a news bulletin is the single most depressing thing in life.
-Top medical disasters:
My nasal bone fracture. Yes, I fractured my nose. Try it at home, its not that easy.
-The biggest heart break:
When my phone crashed and I lost this poem called "in the depths of darkness... you bring me light" I cried my eyes out and looked everywhere for a copy... still cant string it together....
-Grossest moment of the year:
Cleaning Sandy's puke. Which made me puke. Thrice over.

"My year in pictures"/ photo awards/oww just take a look already!
Here we go...

First up, the most unforgettable day of 08!

08 - my favourite picture:

the most contemplated haircut:

the bestest pet ever... I cant believe we left him alone for 50 hours! :'(

this photo bags all awards under the "silliest poses" category:

the responsible citizen moment:

the most worked upon photo award:

here's why:

the "rotflol" moment of '08!

the "one of its kind" photograph award:

"most nostalgic photo" goes to:

My worst shot / disaster of the century:
(please kill one unskilled make up artist, today. You can make a difference.)

the strongest person of the year award:

beer swigging moment: #384

Its been a roller coaster of a year. (sometimes you just cannot help but be cliche, see?)
So this year I've decided not to cry...
Not even when my flip flops break.
Or when I see a lot of hair in a man's ears.
*gulp*

My new year resolution: To learn how to tie a tie. (no typo this.)

Looking forward to a good year!
No, I have not ordered tires for my car. Har har har!

not funny?
Ok :(

Happy new year, people! :D
Here's to love, life and laughter :)

Hugs: work!

2008-12-24T19:12:00.015+05:30

One of my favourite things to do, on this day of the year, is watch this movie:

I love it. The story touches on the over commercialization of Christmas, and serves to remind viewers of the true meaning of Christmas, in signature Peanuts' style.
And elsewhere a certain Miss Sinha says:
"From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it. :P"
Would love to see these two, taking on each other. Ahem.

Yes people, hugs really work! (Pssst! thank you Rahul Nair)

"Don't worry, things will fall into place... Just relax." was definitely on top of my "lines that annoy me" list. Definitely, until yesterday.

Things are falling into place...
*For starters I got my hall ticket! YES! xD
Not one hitch, not one problem, no comments by evil HOD, no questions asked. Wow.
* I am not going to be alone tomorrow after all!
Camel sent me this: "any problem if we guys drop in tomorrow?"
(uh well its called an SMS... and sometimes it can make your day!)
* I realised that you guys wont run away 'cause of my constant ranting... thanks tonnes for that! :D
* What's more... a good friend of mine has flown down from erm... the windy city... it'll be super good to catch up with him! lookin' forward :)

Hey... Its almost 9 now...
I'm way happier than I thought I would be. Hope there's coke in the fridge though.

So here's me... sitting... (still) praying for world peace & harmony. Less corruption and more educated politicians, closer home and a piece of George Clooney for me :D
In the tatkal quota, here's praying the best, for all my dost log.

And you, reading this blog, a BIG thank you for the brilliant display of tolerance :)
(I will test it a teeny bit more though)

have you seen an interesting video today? no? hit the link below:
http://tinyurl.com/6veoun

and now....

Merry Christmas Everybody!
:D

Wanted: Hugs.

2008-12-20T23:54:00.014+05:30

Uh-oh!
I think I've got the blues. x(

Before I ring in the new year in style/drunk/at home in shorts, alone; the following things might happen, not leaving me amused:
* i might not get my hall ticket for unexplainable reasons. I mean trustees, donation, and some stupid confusion. You don't want to know. I hate the college I'm "in".
* i might get the hall ticket and flunk all subjects. I mean who am i kidding? I don't even have the text books.
* i might be home alone on Christmas while the rest of my family members shop till they drop in Mumbai. *sighs* I love my pet too much to leave him and go away.
* i might put on so much weight that people mistake me for my mum! aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
* i might HATE my new hairdo AFTER I get it! X(
* i might never learn to shut up!
* you guys might stop reading my blog because all I do here is crib and cry and rant and blogitomise the pessimist. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Dear God,
Give me strength in these troubled times. Help me, as i have no one else to plead to.

While you are at it, please let me find out that Charles Henry Harrod was my great great great great grandfather.
What? Come on God! George Clooney at my door at least!
waaaaah!!
Amen.

tch tch! i SO need a hug *sniff*
Hey, pillow... C'mere...

Oh! Speaking of blues, i'm leaving you with this:

;
( rotflol! An Obama supporter that I am, I just cant help but applaud the folks at MAD for coming up with funny stuff ALL the fucking time!)

All done!

2008-12-15T11:18:00.020+05:30

*jittery*
first thing: I never imagined my blog in this avtaar... all the same, i love it... Its looking all pretty and Christmas-ey! :)

firster thing: Christmas! less than 10 days to go!

No. I'm not Christian (and while we're at it, I'm not a Mangalorean and NOT from Andhra either.) but there's something about the-last-week-of-december that makes me super happy!

Maybe its all those colours... Maybe all those lights... Presents? umm... Wine? Wine? Wine.
or... is it all the hype? Bingo!
I mean its the one day in the year I see my Dad actually livin' it up! :p

Christmas in as many words i can think of: Here it go!

Marshmallows, candy canes, stockings, Santa! christmas cake, tinsel, christmas trees, chimneys, decorations, baubles, angels, miseltoe, presents, fancy fireplace, happiness, wrapping paper, red+ green+gold, stars, warm woolies, ugg boots, christmas carols, family, turkey and roast potaoes, gravy, christmas pudding and snow...

Pity it doesn't snow here though... :(
Which reminds me, my sister's passport arrived, taking us one step closer to the white, snowy Christmas me and mum keep dreaming of... :D
aah! more dreams and schemes later...

Second thing: Someone pointed out to me recently, that there has been a more-than-subtle change in my newer posts, in terms of content...
She said that reading my blog now feels like reading someone's diary...
(are you kidding me?! i LOVE reading people's diaries! :P by accident of course!)
So I just want to tell her that more old-school posts coming up... Promise. 0:)
But only in January as I have some serious shopping/partying/holidaying to do! :D

Last thing: I was quite sick, the past couple of days. I've even recovered from the horrible back injury... So now I'm done blowing my nose and taking paracetamol for the year. Any alcohol going down my throat, now onwards, will not be in the form of cough syrup.

And now its time for- drumroll, please- My Random Rants!

*My old man couriered home a box of chocolates... again! cute or what? xD awww dad!
* 100 free sms are not enough. How many people am I messaging? Where is all my currency going?! HELLO?! Calls to Ireland: 9.5 bucks a minute! jeez!
*This one occurred to me while watering the plants last night: Cannot believe that ONCE i used to say things like hero pen and homework or shut your gob or ditcher & yeah, this one makes me laugh - geometry box... I mean just 4 years ago "Saturdays" still meant white uniform and Mass PT... Good old days or something they say....

* What is to food as masturbation is to sex? if you know, let me know...

* scooters, vacation, fall...? Imagine a post with tags like that.

Haha. ha. I want hot chicken soup. Now.

*Nancy Meyers should give me littttle credit. Iris from "The Holiday" (2006) is me!
*the not-logged-into-facebook record: 24 hours+

*the bad-hair-day record: 192 hours+

work in progress! come back later...

2008-12-15T10:02:00.003+05:30

kindly BEAR WITH ME. :)

-ανόητος-

2008-12-08T12:47:00.010+05:30

stu⋅pid:
/ˈstupɪd, ˈstyu‑/
adj. stu·pid·er, stu·pid·est
1. Lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
2. Characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless.
3. Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes.
4. Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless
5. Informal. a stupid person.
Origin:
[Latin stupidus, from stupēre, to be stunned.]

I mean... what the hell is wrong with me?!! :'(
No I cant be PMSing!
Just when I thought nothing could go wrong anymore...

See... A few minutes back I appeared online to everybody...
I'd plugged in my camera (which was happily uploading pictures to flickr).
I was chatting with two of my friends on that social networking website...
I had also logged into my blog- writing a new post titled "you know you are going to get dumped when..."
All the while jotting down at least 76 different ideas that were crossing my head in the text document I'd kept open.
Ah yes, I'll also mention Mr. Phil Collins in the background.

and then...

No. not a power cut. The UPS is my sweetheart.

No No. Not even a solar holocaust.

My computer just literally died.
*pop*
blank.
gone.
all gone.
and I'm like "hehehe nice joke..."
then I'm like "hehe. ok. enough now... joke's over."

"Please tell me its a joke! somebody!!"
WAAAAAAAAAAH!
*scream fades into a faint distant nothingness*

Anger replaced every last bit of sadness in me & I realised something else.
*poke*
*poke poke*
*jab jab JAB*

My PC wasn't restarting either! Not automatically, Not even upon me telling it to!
aaaarrgghh!
I was mad as hell!
Unable to think of anything rational, unable to plain and simple "think", I did the stupidest thing ever. (It all happened in the spur of the moment!)
~~I grabbed a bunch of keys.~~ I grabbed a bunch of heavy keys and CHUCKED them on my monitor.
*clunk*

My awesome TFT monitor is now, jacked for life.

you know what ensued...
guilt.
a lot of guilt.
"oh shit!"
1 and a half tear(s).
...and this post.
sigh!

"a point in the space of four-character strings"

2008-11-26T16:34:00.009+05:30

ola!

Aren't you just lovin' the weather today?
(ranting from: Bangalore. 4 pm IST and date you can see right on top of the post.)
Its cold as hell. Dark! And very cloudy.
The sun must be holidaying somewhere faaar away from here.
I'm totally loving it.

Ok. Coming back to what I actually came here to tell you guys:

If you haven't smiled in quite a while, I suggest you hit the link below.

http://xkcd.com/

More interesting than I thought it'd be; way funnier than Divith.

Take a little help from Wiki if nothing makes sense to you even 2 hours after you've opened that link.
On second thoughts, just assume your sense of humour broke up with you.

Big thank you to Nemil Vora. =)

If you liked it, then tell your friends about it!

blood is thicker than w(h)ater?

2008-11-22T10:13:00.010+05:30

So I was just thinking the other night (how I'm always thinking every night) and a wonderfully horrible thought occurred to me.

Its this hypothetical situation...

Say you're going about your life.... just about happily.... and on one sunny day, you come across this person... You talk... You get along... He/she is fun. You're loving the companionship and laughing more than ever before... You connect with each other... Long conversations and some beautiful moments later you realise you're falling for that person... 'Patience' isn't exactly your favourite word right now... A bundle of nerves that you are, you still muster up courage to tell the person how you feel for him/her (butterflies and jelly legs included) & he/she reciprocates, much to your joy. You are (understandably) on cloud 10.

So you go on dates... dine together... share laughs... and the physical intimacy grows... you fight... you make up...
Then you reach a point when you really want to take care of him/her... You become protective... Damn! You're totally falling in love... A few more years into your relationship and you realise you just need each other, forever...

You know you've found your soulmate...

And then in a dramatic unfolding of events, you find out you're both children to the same mother, separated at birth due to whatever reasons. You are related by blood. You are brother and sister.
And its 100% true.
What now?

No, I'm not a soap opera queen, but well, seriously, this just occurred to me...
and I'm totally clueless.
Just want to know how one would or should react to/handle/go about this 'situation'.

Would you still go ahead and marry that person? Should you?
Or would you forget all that has been happening in the past few years of your life?
If that were even possible, that is.
Would you be able to look at that person in this new light?
Would you still be able to hold on to your sanity?

Leave a reply to tell me what, how and why.
(I thought I'd do a poll... but its too complicated a scenario to put it in a yes-or-no format)

strawberry fields- here i come!

2008-11-18T14:45:00.016+05:30

\,,/.
.\,,/

Updates:

As on 24th nov., its another year before people head to NLS for a rock fest.

Rosemary won. (!!)

(Strawberry Fields) - (Pentagram) = would have been better.

It rained like nuts on the finale. We still stood ground and didn't scurry.

weeeeeed! \,,/.

Real good music by a couple of bands.

The Times Of India peeps messed up in the main page of today's Bangalore edition calling Chilli Potatoes, "Metal Messaiah"!

There was no use of the passes after all! :(

&%^(*#@!!

2008-11-17T15:06:00.013+05:30

I was reading the newspaper today...
It seemed to bring back old memories.
I remember very clearly... the last time I had read the paper...

August of 2008

ah... nostalgia...

chain snatching... uncleared garbage... bad roads...

I stifled a yawn and continued scanning the page lazily. Somewhere on page 4, the caricature of Albert Einstein that they'd thrown in, caught my attention. I started reading.

3 hours later . . .

Same page. Same article. With a pen in my hand.

I was breaking my head over a "mind boggling" question that the man had designed as a brain exercise for kids in a US school. Apparently 98% of the world's population couldn't solve this puzzle.

take a dekko:

There are five houses of five different colours.
One person from one specific nationality lives in each house.
Each person likes a specific kind of drink and cigarette. Each has one pet.
None of them owns the same pet, smokes the same cigarette or drinks the same drink.
Question: "Who owns the fish?"
Hints: The English person lives in the red house. The Swede has a dog. The Danish likes tea. The green house is located right to the left of the white house. The person who lives in the green house likes to drink coffee. The person who smokes Pall Mall has a bird. The person who lives in the middle house likes to drink milk. The person who lives in the yellow house smokes Dunhill. The Norwegian lives in the first house. The person who smokes Marlboro lives next to the person who owns a cat. The person who has a horse lives next to the person who smokes Dunhill. The person who smokes Winfield, likes to drink beer. Right next to the blue house lives the Norwegian. The German smokes Rothmans. The person who smokes Marlboro is the neighbour of the person who drinks water.
(whew!)

I tried to work it out.
Still trying.
If the Swede smokes Marlboro who owns the freakin' cat?!!

wtf?!

i am currently lusting over...*

2008-11-14T09:50:00.021+05:30

Curtis Stone.

*drools*

I mean how perfect is he?

what?!

ok listen:

He's Aussie. ;)

Tall, blonde. Green eyed. (!!)

He cooks (and how!)

He has a voice that'll make any woman weak in the knees.

Celebrity chef. Also owns the most dazzling smile ever.

Top runner of "Sexiest Man Alive" poll by People magazine.

& Oh. My. God. Have you seen any pictures of him in a tux?!

*runs out of saliva*

*to all the boys reading this post:

"i'm really sorry that there was nothing for you here."

to the girls:

"if you think there's someone out there, even better than Curtis, leave a comment!" ;)

to aneesha:

"ty!" :P

of a book and some more books.

2008-11-11T10:12:00.013+05:30

Yes. This is the book I'm absolutely dying to read.

Will not say much here.

Just, I have a bizarre feeling that this is the story of a guy I only know too well.

It maybe, may not be...

Well... can't wait to get my hands on this one.

a big thank you to Clever Girl and her shelfari! =)

I also want to read:

~~Tart (Red Dress Ink Novels) by Jody Gehrman.~~

Shantaram by GregoryDavid Roberts.
The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga.
and one piece each by Ruskin Bond and John Keats.

Hmmm, that's it for now...

and there's no way i can let you go without telling you about. . . . .

Marley and Me.

"life and love with the world's worst dog"

eeeeeeee!!! xD

Its by John Grogan and is the cutest looking book I've seen in a while!

Big thanks to total sweetheart Sam, or I'd still be thinking its just another Hollywood flick...

(Jen Aniston+Owen Wilson, btw... <3)

just when am I going to Landmark next?!

*scratches head and checks wallet.*

Update: ART VANDELAY asked me for my email id, shortly after we got acquainted with each other... I gave it to him thinking "orkut..." & had been busy for the next couple of days... When I checked my mail the day after, I was pleasantly surprised! He had sent me the e-book of the "I Hope They Serve..."

Sweet or what!?

a bitter sweet symphony

2008-11-10T20:46:00.022+05:30

I had totally hit the dead end of my "how do i sneak out tonight?" brainstorm session.
( try keeping your ass at home on a Saturday night.) ( it'll hurt!)
So I had to settle for the consolation prize; somehow, the idea of hot wax being slapped on and then being peeled away using strips of things that makes a lot of noise, for a neater pair of arms and legs, made me feel good. =)
I grabbed my wallet and went straight to Geeta aunty's parlour. The door opened to the same faces that smiled at me each time I visited. Only today it was super-crowded!
I wasn't exactly spoilt for choice so I collapsed on one of those dead bean bags she had, crammed in there. The magazines were all taken. I started messaging friends.

This amusement park was advertising on radio. Their jingle faded into nothing, without garnering much attention... and then:
ok bengaluru, we are celebrating the lovebirds week!
excuse me? o_O
we're giving you a chance to go on air and bolo your dil ki baat...
erm...
thats right, dedicate songs to your loved one and win hampers!
and then she said the corniest thing:
seems like all this week, love is in the 'air'... lalala!
*not amused.* *at all.*
then the dedications started coming... and how!
she read her playlist; i was nauseous.
telling myself that this still is better than sitting at home, I waited...

and the radio sang...
I wanna call the stars, down from the sky
I wanna live a day, that never dies
I wanna change the world only for you
All the impossible I wanna do...

I just thought about this Harsh who had "dedicated" this particular song to his girlfriend. And of his girlfriend who must have been blushing to death right then.
tch-tch. Some more time into the relationship, he would hardly even call her to tell her what he did all day.
Stars and all? You wish.
The only day he'd wish would never die'd be when he's making wild passionate love to her.
and umm... change the world only for her? SURE.
Someday she'll be ranting about office politics and how she hates it and how it needs to change and... He'll probably go "you cannot do anything about it. just forget it."
oh and the classic-
"Sweetheart, can you come and meet me after work?"
"hey.. sorry.. that's a bit impossible."

...and the radio sang...
I wanna hold you close under the rain
I wanna kiss your smile and feel the pain
I know what's beautiful looking at you
In a world of lies you are the truth...

Yeah, the first thing he would probably do when it rains, is run for cover, forgetting even to pull her along. Let alone stand in the rain, hugging her.
"i know what's beautiful looking at you..." Yeah- That's why he'd not even have complimented her in weeks and maybe even secretly thought that the girl at that billing counter is so fuckin pretty! truth in the world of lies eh? we know that 'traffic jams' may not always mean 'traffic jams', as is the case with "i have a bad headache today, sorry."

And baby... Everytime you touch me I become a hero...
I sat there. angry, frustrated, thinking about these words.
okay so we're to believe that she walks in and his mask comes on & cape bursts out and he can suddenly fly and move mountains. All this and he wont even pick her up for lunch.
"Hero" did he say?

Hey Harsh... Lets picture this: You've had a fuckin' tiring day, and your girl's vehicle has been towed away to the other end of town. She's calling, expecting you to go there and help her out.
Isn't this exactly the time when you wish you'd never told her crap like:
I'll make you safe no matter where you are...
And bring you everything you ask for...
Nothing is above me...
I mean you can just tell her you have an important meeting. And c'mon, she'll get out of it anyway! makes sense, don't it?

I'm shining like a candle in the dark.... When you tell me that you love me...
Some drunken, wannabe Shakespeare must have written these lines sitting in a gay pub, and our man is dedicating them to woo his chick (probably not even meaning some/most of it). You know what the best bit is? She's totally falling for it. lol!
cute... down right pathetic, but well... cute.

See. I'm not saying that dedicating a song to your loved one is wrong- not even hinting.
(because I'm all for mushy :P)
Or that this guy doesn't know what love is/how to take care of his relationship/ how to make it last or anything on those lines.
What I'm saying is that on one of those days, nothing seems convince you, or said another way, on a day when you aren't feeling so lovey-dovey, these "all i need in life is your love" sort of lyrics get down right irritating.

My phone beeped again:
"hey.. wassa.. where are you?"
me: "nun much.. bored.. not far from home .. why?"
him: "I'm in polar bear... near your house."
me: "whoa... how come??"

the radio pressed on...
I wanna make you see just what I was
Show you the loneliness and what it does
You walked into my life To stop my tears
Everything is easy now, I have you here...

me: (giving up) "I'm coming. see you in 5 dude."

Oktober-stressed!

2008-10-21T23:18:00.015+05:30

Right now, if I were a picture, I'd be this one. This is kinda how I've been feeling lately.

I'm yet to come to terms with the fact that I'm going to graduate a year after my "normal" batchmates will D:
I'm yet to come to terms with the fact that my parents fully understand the same.
tch tch...
I'm putting on weight, by the way. (shit!)
Pimples. (bitches! they're getting redder and redder!)
plus these random things* in my head. (unavoidable.)
my dog's not doing very well :'(
I am broke.
*going nuts*

OK what I'm really trying to say is: "I haven't been spending enough time at my desk, writing. So will not be posting a lot, this October."

Right now I'm flirting with the idea of cutting my hair really short/ get my nose pierced/ both.
:D
but then I'll have to convince my college staff to believe that I'm the same species as them so, dunno.
and hey the "festival of lights" is coming up & so is a major family do & so are lots of college fests.
hopefully that will cheer me up.
Here's praying that the pictures will be more cheerful, November on...
:)

random things*
gotta find reasons to justify my erratic behaviour these days.
been ages since i went to fanoo's. *drools*
thu! thu! thoooooooooo! year back!!!
'jaane kyu... dil jaanta hai.. tuh hai toh i'll be alright'
i should go & enrol with a theater group. really.
technically i'm a first year. does that allow me to take part in Maitri-08? o_O
i wasted three bucks to send an SMS for the mtv tickr! it didn't even appear on TV! grr!
yellow is the colour of the season! need those yellow ballerina shoes! XD
raj thackeray in jail! wow! :D
its bleeding impossible to make clockwise circles with my right foot and make the number "6" with my right hand at the same time!! >.<

Yeah, by the way, "stressed" rhymes with "fest". Hence the title. :P
I'll catch you guys soon! :)

this world we're living in...

2008-10-07T12:06:00.004+05:30

Its another of those Tuesday mornings. I'm bunking class (yet again) and browsing the web (nothing on TV, zero currency on phone.)
The following, I just read on some site & thought would make an interesting read:

A Worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
Here's what was aked:
'Please give your honest opinion about solutions concerning the food shortage in the rest of the world.'

The survey was a huge failure.

In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant.
In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant.
In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant.
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!

confessions of a really stupid girl.

2008-09-21T21:22:00.004+05:30

So I typed it out "I just wanted to say that I have an itsy-bitsy crush on you..." deleted it all... typed out a whole big funny explanation... saved it in drafts... "naah"... deleted it all again and wrote it out in as few words i could.
Jesus Christ! I couldn't be doing this! was I doing this?! I mean should I? shouldn't I? damn.. but he's a pal... he'd understand.. I'm sure he had been there, done that too... and besides i wasn't saying "i wanna grow old with you" or something. Imagine me saying that to any guy at this point in life-
no really, I'm not a retard.
Yeah so, telling a guy that you got the hots for him is no big deal right?
Wrong.
'cause he was already seeing this chick.
horribly, this occurred to me after i sent the message.
"what was i thinking? OK that was stupid! totally dumb. evil. and definitely not required!"
I only prayed to god that he'd laugh it off. and I'd be more than glad to do precisely that.

But the reply that came, almost killed me. He said his friends had his phone, and now they were all rolling on the floor laughing.
First thought: oh fuck. get a plastic surgery. leave town. assume another identity and always remain, mysteriously, tragically silent about my past.
Second thought: well, at least they were laughing.

Awkward moment; definitely awkward. how could I possibly get out of this alive & not embarrassed? I just acted like it was no big deal. He was sweet enough to understand. So a few messages later, I cleverly steered the conversation to another, and hopefully a more interesting topic.
whew!

Eversince, I've been feeling horrible. Well, not because of what happened but more because of whats happening as a result. Get it? Or should I say more because of whats not happening as a result?
I mean he hasn't messaged me after that! x(
Maybe it is that. Or maybe I'm just
over reacting...
So I'm here... at the confession box - blogger.com. Hopefully after this is out on the world wide web, I'll feel better.
Well, in my defence (if that is needed) for me, it still is no big deal. Anyone would guess that I've said wayyyyy crazier things to a guy. What I told him was very by the way... very sweet.. even an almost instinctive thing to do. Aneesha didn't agree. She kept giving me looks.
I had no answer.
I was just sitting there... guilty... but still giggling my head off... lost in thoughts...
I hope that the cute equation I share with him doesnt change. Ouch, that would hurt.
I hope I find a nice guy to go on a few dates with soon (only so that all this gets erased off his mind)!
Hmmmm...

My work here is done. :P
And I'm pretty sure that the moment he reads this, he'll shake his head at me being such a kid and message me:
"my god! thinking so much about it uh? chill re!"

random thoughts... no, really.

2008-09-05T19:38:00.005+05:30

i wish i was two inches taller.
i wish i had wings.
i wish i was really good at studies.
-big deal if i hang out with 7 boys all the time!!
still, i wish i was a boy. *sighs*
i wish i could find that purple nail polish again!
i wish my HOD gets thrown into jail. i cant stand the sight of that twisted, evil bastard.
i wish i could speak French... :)
i wish there was no such thing as "attendance" :(
i wish i had more money.
i wish i had even more money!

au revoir...

2008-09-03T22:16:00.010+05:30

It hasn't rained this heavily in a long time.
My phone is switched off. Battery low.
I'm just lying here, numb.
Mom has asked me that question thrice over.
I haven't said anything.
I'm listening to "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls.
And tonight i just cannot hold off these tears.

The same movie is playing in my head, yet again....
first time I saw you... your "spider legs" handwriting... how I couldn't stop gushing about you to my sister... the first time I called you up... that white shirt of yours... how I used to draw your zoology diagrams... our first kiss... college fest... a thousand other college fests... elephant jokes... the fourth floor... "the blue bullshit"... pulse 2006... chemistry department disaster... the things you told me after graduation day... corner house ice creams... 11th of may last year... your favourite snooker shot... B11... that highway accident.. the first time I cried for you.. all the times you made me laugh.. that poem you wrote for me...

I remember everything...

A year and a half ago, life "couldn't have been better".
but, I didn't know that you were gonna take my life and wreck it-
and wreck it so bad that I'd never be able put it back together again.
You broke my heart and now I'm dying.
Thanks for making me one pathetic, weeping mess.
It's painful you know, to put on a stupid fucking happy face and walk around, when all you want to do is sit down & cry. Hoping someone would understand.
Hoping someone would go "its ok..."
I cannot tell you what I'm going through. I cannot tell anyone.
"I promise. We'll be friends... Forever."
Fuck. My. Life.

As of now, I have no clue where my life is going. I'm in the worst of situations. I'm helpless.
I don't know what will happen over the next five years.
Hopefully someone will put a band aid over my broken heart.
Hopefully you will.

You know, I just wish that I could wake up and realise this is all just a bad dream.
I hate what you've done to me.
I hate the fact that I let you do what you've done to me.
I hate the fact that deep down, I still hope you will change & come running right back to me.

And now, you're leaving huh...?
Congratulations.
I cannot tell you how sad i am.
Because, I'm not.
Have fun.

As for these tears, they are gonna keep coming...

...for a lifetime, at the least.

24 hours ago...

2008-08-24T12:52:00.002+05:30

i did not think I was gonna have the worst body ache of my life.
i did not imagine I'd have 34 bleeding cuts on my body.
it did not seem possible for drunk people to be climbing the hugest hills of Ramnagar.
i did not really believe that sometimes, some people are destined to meet each other.
.....or that an ordinary Indian three wheeler can accommodate 16 ppl & still move!
and 24 hours ago i definitely did not think that i was going to go out there n live the maddest day of my life.

And all it took for me to get up today morning n say "pinch me!" was cameras, camcorders, a lot of booze, and my best friends... (oh by the way, they're all gonna be famous soon n guess who'll have all 7 autographs? :P)
Each minute, each laugh out loud moment, each revelation & every photograph taken on 23rd august 2008, from 9 am to 9 pm, will be very close to my heart, forever.

If this post is making any sense to you, you were there with me.
If you weren't there with us, then i don't expect you to understand anything.

Guys, here's to the many more CRAZY outings yet to come.
Cheers!

life eeje hard.

2008-08-22T19:48:00.002+05:30

Its one of those times when you wanna pull your hair out in frustration. I'm sure you'll agree stuff like this happens to a lot of us, a lot of times.

Say you are walking your dog. and then you catch this good looking guy or girl looking down the apartment window n right at you. You're just about to fly without wings when your dog starts revolving in crazy little circles n poops! a lot! right then n there! damn!
& next thing you know, there's no face behind that window anymore... :(

Pissing off isn't it? that whenever you trip & fall down embarrassingly, there are always some people looking!
(and psst! where are these people when I'm sashaying around in my 4 inch stilettos, as if I was born on heels!)

Ladies, isn't it funny that you're boyfriend decides he wants to meet you on the exact same day you were thinking "man! I gotta go get my arms waxed"!

Remember one super rare occasion when you did manage to get to class, and the teacher just didnt take attendance? remember you going "what the fuck!!"?
the funny bit is, each time you miss class due to reasons however genuine, they just do not forget the "shh! answer your attendance now" drill.

Why is it that when you've just had a painful break up, you're family members decide its time to go out for some quality time!! i mean at that moment all you want is your space! and come on, all these years they hardly noticed you ricocheting off the walls due to hyper enthusiasm at the thought of an "impromptu family get together" or that "weekend getaway to coorg"!

Whew... and the last straw is when you have been waiting for an extra special day - say someone's birthday, a long overdue reunion, a special photo shoot, a special anniversary first day of work- anything, and on the d-day this huge, ugly, zit shows up right in the middle of your face! don't you just feel like "where were you all these days bitch?? why today??"
What's worse, it makes no effort to get overshadowed by strands of hair or concealer or even that striking shade of lipstick!

well... what are you gonna do?
just gotta face it sometimes.
life, after all, is hard!

I love:

2008-08-20T21:02:00.008+05:30

hugs.
Google doodles!
writing with my left hand.
end of season sale, anywhere.
"Showtime presents DEXTER" \m/
catching a movie first day first show.
kohl.

baby animals- my heart melts!
sitting under "the tree" with my best friends.
the colour purple.
speed.

eating complan. straight out of the packet! yum!
happy endings.

this song called "Punjab" by Karunesh.

pon and zi (by azuzephre)
Bangalore city.

getting a new haircut! :D
remembering the past and wishing i could find life's "rewind button".
sweet nothings.
Alliance Francaise, Bangalore :) :)
Calvin and Hobbes :')

B-boys!
smell of freshly cut capsicum.
Om beach, Gokarna.
kal ho na ho.

collecting small, random, shiny, weird things.

alcohol.
eating pani puri when its raining.
getting tickled.
corner house ice creams!
talking on the phone.
talking, period. i cannot shut up for nuts!
playing cupid.
warli art
biryani!

sounds of superbikes revving
babies (that cant walk or talk).
Pav bhaji, chole bhature, butter chicken- the real Punjabi deal.

parkour.

geeks <3
dark, chilly, misty mornings.

and... each second of the life I'm living life (mishaps and all).

the awakening...

2008-08-19T15:27:00.001+05:30

Again i had dozed off while on the phone. Again it had rained all night. And again the alarm had gone off at 6.30... I did NOT want to get up but thinking of that corset I'd be wearin if I were thinner, I got up and was trudging away.
After a couple of hundred meters, I was still drowsy. I was in no mood to jog, so instead of just sitting there n turning into a fossil or something I bought a copy of the Sunday Times from corner manju's store. I reached the park facing the apartment I used to live before in and grabbed a bench... Right at the end, i saw Pinto uncle. A lot of other people had gathered. it must have been the residents' monthly meeting.

An explosion of articles+photographs+tributes+Jai Hinds told me it was Independence day ka eve. The street just off the park got a little noisy. I saw a bunch of people setting up what looked like makeshift classroom. Probably some NGO activity. Nice.

I continued reading all the glorified stuff that was written in the paper and random thoughts started crossing my mind... "when i die, will more than 50 people even know ?"

The sun was in no mood to get out. It still felt like six thirty, an hour later.

Then two girls walked past me, wearing 'Teach India' sweatshirts.

*bzzzz!*

And then, it happened. As i sat there, I had realised something. I couldn't believe it had taken me that long! I sat up. Suddenly all else was erased from my mind! I wasn't just going to sit there anymore. I got up, took a nice deep breath. Two seconds later i was on my feet ready to jog. well, I had to start somewhere.

Was this my wake up call? i was finally getting over trivial things like shopping n clubbing to have look at "the bigger picture"? Did the need to be a little more than just "apeksha rao" get the better of me?

YEAH RIGHTTT!!

I had spotted an extremely good looking hunk in the park. He had just started jogging.
and WOW! White was his colour!

the new beginning which totally sucked!

2008-08-19T12:30:00.001+05:30

And so, without having any idea of what i was signing up for, i had done it. felt like a hundred signatures; across my photographs and all. a couple of hours more of waiting in that very dead looking office and - voila! it was official.
i admit, it did feel nice telling people "electronics n communication.. first sem"
but for the rest of the freshers at ambedkar institute of technology, nearly 1 month of classes were over...
question: how was I ever gonna catch up? & find people like me and have a blast? ummm...

DAY 1: I'm pretty sure i must've screamed wen i entered "my classroom". ( it wasn't one.) i was also pretty sure no one noticed me walking into it n sitting down. wow.
the boys were very very quiet compared to their jain college or VIPS or anywhere else's counterparts... sigh! i mean "hello?? wake up people!"
and the girls were going on n on about "internals" and "gaalipata" n "uniform measurement" n things tat dint quite make sense to me.
the answer to question above: NEVVVVER!
and slowly, disappointment replaced each bit of enthusiasm in me. what followed was a series of lectures where ppl dint even attempt to defy the "maintain silently in the class i say" dialogues (check out the molestation of english here), some terrible lunches, and some of the most boring days of my life.

that weekend i was sadder than ever. I was sitting alone in purple haze, handcuffed, and my glass of whisky had fallen dramatically off the table. it was getting a little difficult breathe. i had a few electronics n calculus books in front of me. and then i saw the gaalipata girls from class, drinking tender coconut at a far end. "huh what the fuck??" and then i saw them. two people were coming towards me with something in their hands. it was a book. and it was blue. and bang in the middle was written in red ink "0/25" - thrice over! next thing i knew they were dragging me away to some village... my cell phone slipped out of my pocket. i couldn't grab it! it was gone! my friends from school n college were sitting in the most comfortable couches n i was being taken away!
i was losing my mind. i saw a milestone. "JP club ----- 2 rms away." it said. it was now or never. with all the strength inside me, i tried to break free.

i felt a jolt!

uh-uh! no, i did not fall off the bed. ( 'cause that would be way too cliche, wudnnit? :P)
With cold, trembling hands i reached for my phone somewhere under my pillow n realised it was just 5 in the morning. thanking the heavens above, i went back to a couple of hours more of sleep.
And in any case, i had to go & live this nightmare again, starting 9 am.
Saturday was far, far away.

first post

2008-08-17T20:41:00.001+05:30

:P

yaaaay!