Commence "Operation blurt-your-problem-on blogger-dot-com-so-people-you-hardly-know-yet-love-can-give-you-advice". Now.
Ok people! I am having a huge issue with my speech these days!
I cannot string four meaningful words together! No!
Sample this:
17 year old classmate: "Hi! How you doing today"
Me: "*pause* er.. sunshine.. healthy.. er.. gbgbb.. dbb.. gllgg"
17 year old classmate: "Oh! Hmmm what class do we have now? Any idea?"
Me: "*pause* yeah.. i think.. its that... gddg.. lady.. you know.. short.. uhhq.. fat.. ghhg.. er.. lady."
17 year old classmate: "Are you ok?"
Me (nodding at the speed of a high frequency oscillator): "hmm! ghhg."
Her: "Er ok bye!"
Me: "*long pause* ggghbg."
What an embarrassment! I must've looked like I was trying to control potty!
Not just her, each time there is a discussion in class or a gossip-session going on, my vocal chords decide to start shagging! No matter how carefully the words constituting my response are chosen and arranged- my tongue refuses to move in my mouth! Bitch!
And so, all that the class can hear, are my slobbery little gghgs and bddbds and ulkks.
Reminds me a lot of my once-active Gundu :)
Sigh!
Hmmm... I'm gonna google around for some yogasanas for my stiff fucking tongue!
See ya'll soon!
PS: I gave Twilight a shot. Stephanie Meyer's "international bestseller".
BORING!
300 pages in, I decided that book is shit and didnt bother finishing it.
:|
verbal diarrhea. imagining oneself as rakhi sawant usually helps. although the"*long pause* ggghbg." does sound well exciting, I must try that.
ReplyDeletebrill blog!
try applying coconut oil on both sides of your tongue..
ReplyDeleteP.S : Plz Tell me if it works... I need to patent this idea!!!
Oh My God !!! I am a genius!!!
Wow. You must be the only chick in town who thinks Twilight is boring - and I love you for that.
ReplyDeleteAs for the "verbal constipation", you should try...uh. I don't know, I usually just say "your mom" to whatever anyone tells me. Might not work in your situation though. Hey, speaking of "your mom", I just realized something - there's not a single good comeback anyone can say to the following three insults:
- Your mom
- You gaylord
- You fucking blowjob
Think about it, what can anyone possible say if you call them a blowjob? I think Russell Peters came up with that one. Hmm
Yes, I realize this doesn't really help much, but I'm not really the helping kind. :(
Vaudevillian: Thanks for the dekko!
ReplyDeleteEeeks- I am never imagining myself to be rakhi sawant, even if my tongue swells up in my mouth and rots due to lack of exercise! *shivers*
Rahul: Dont be so happy, Einstein! I already tried that! Even grease from the local mechanic! Tcch, I need a more powerful solution :P Help!
Kraven, my friend, its ok to not be the helpful kind. Chill.
and Russell Peters is genius- I'm still thinking of a comeback for "you fucking blowjob"
er... erm.
And oh yeah Twilight = Supergay!
Didnt think you'dever read it though!
like when did you ever string 4 'meaningful' words together? :P
ReplyDeleteMEANIEEEEEE! X(
ReplyDeleteUgh! You said it @workhard! :|
ReplyDelete