Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts

Friday, April 29, 2011

Summer Love

It had been a while since I'd gone to that part of town...
...since I'd seen the building where he and I spent that one summer together.



Somehow, it didn't feel the same. Nothing was magical about it anymore.

Walking down that road, I found it hard to believe that there was a time when I'd put everything on hold and dash halfway across town...
to this building...
to walk through that painted wooden door...
to see him...

He felt so cold against my body that would be sweaty from all the running, warm under all that make up and all those layers of black clothes.

We hardly ever talked.
I loved it.
What would I say to him anyway? Discuss school?
I only remember this...
Our lips.... the cold spreading through my body... and then goosebumps.
It became routine. Like a drill, almost.
I loved it.
I had had my first orgasm.
I kept going back there, everyday.

He still lives here, I've heard. I'm sure he's found so many giddy girls since me.
I will just be that delirious 17 year old to him who was obsessed with him once.
Life goes on, no?
But it was not his fault anyway... None of it was. Looking back, I can only sigh.


At 17, I was sure I had found love and even more sure that he and I would last forever and for always (like in that Shania Twain song.)

Then one morning, I wasn't able to slip into my jeans quite as easily as I usually would.


The bump started showing.
My belly was getting bigger.
It didn't matter how much I cut back on Nutella.
I needed maternity pants. Soon.

I think she read the guilt in my eyes (or she figured there was something the size of a giant panda under my shirt) but at any rate, my mother was the first to talk to me about it.
I burst out. I confessed to her. My mum. I told her what I'd been doing all summer long.
She was calmer than I thought she would be when it all came out into the open.
She held my hand and walked me through the biggest screw up of my life...


My beer belly.

Courtesy: Beer @ Pecos.
Rs. 275 per pitcher.
Buy one, get one. FREE.

* * *

Now of course, I'm a lot wiser... older.
"That building" is just another building to me.
I'm blissfully married to Whiskey.
We've had a couple of babies ever since- Judgement Impaired and Puffy McCheeks.
They are my world.
We have a third one on the way... We want to name him Ugly Zit Jr.
Life is good.

* * *

Disclaimer:
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious.
Any resemblance to any biological process, natural or in-vitro is purely coincidental.


Thursday, June 4, 2009

Blah!

And this morning I caught myself doing the weirdest thing, on a whim.
No forethought or any form of planning had gone into it...

Menus appeared, disappeared as I wordlessly searched away... Soon the rapid mouse-clicking and continuous keyboard-jabs of the past 20-25 minutes had given way to some serious déjà vu...

My PC speakers, which are otherwise conditioned to scream aloud numbers by Children of Bodom, were happily crooning almost-forgotten tunes from black and white movies, when it was still legal for the heroine to have curves.

yeh dil na hota bechara
kadam na hote aawara...
jo khoobsoorat koi apna
humsafar hota...

I flopped back on my bed, reminiscing...
This was exactly how it was, some ten years back, summer holidays in good old Jodhpur.
Raj Kapoor and Nargis on a rainy night; when cassettes still ruled supreme, Mohammad Rafi... Khoya khoya chaand... Kishore Kumar's magic, RD Burman's trippy numbers... And aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai...
I miss those broken songs... of not having known the meaning of those words... innocently singing along nevertheless; out of tune and wrong lyrics.
:)

Tapping my feet to sheer nostalgia I decided to go web hunting for nothing in particular...
Here's something I came across on Zafra's Flickr page :

Good eh?
Exactly the kind of stuff that keeps my plans, of opening my own art studio someday, alive and kicking! :D
Shh! Just a little business plan that I'll think of after menopause :P

* * *
And oh! I cannot express how happy I am that I am out of a life that would require me to get fucked, doggy style by a slut called Calculus every night before exams!
Lord, you are kind! :D
Mighty respect though, to people who enjoy it. (I mean the subject, of course) :P

* * *
Ladies and gentlemen!!
Its now time for today's handy tip, in my new segment called.. er well..
"Today's Handy Tip!"

Q. What are you to do when your neighbor's 9 year old has puked so much that the euuugh!-factor has pervaded into your house, right up your nostrils and is molesting your olfactory lobe while you are working on your computer/laptop/any other gadget that is designed to give you cancer or worse upon prolonged exposure?
My handy tip:
"Procure a 100 ml bottle of your favorite fruit concentrate shampoo and sniff on it continuously till you pass out."

* * *
Bulletin board courtesy Clueless's Random News Bureau:

-The much talked about 10 Rupee coins were launched recently!

I think they look pretty fancy... but it ends there.
Do tell me what you think of these.

-Girls! Retail therapy works! (like you needed another soul confirming it!)
So, if you are feeling hopelessly low: hit the shower, get dressed, steal your dad's credit card and go shopping.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
And if all those shopping bags in your hand still don't get you going, get some part of your body pierced.
Cheaper than getting a tattoo and it does NOT hurt much! :D

-Boys! Here's something I read in a glossy, waiting, outside the dentist's:
"Flowers die, photographs fade but bras & panties last forever or at least until you rip them off..."
Haha!
No I'm not saying buy her lingerie! What am I? Some kind of free advertising agency? NO!
I'm saying make love while the sun shines, baby!!
That will make you a satisfied hence calmer person at office, on the road, at lunch, and even while doing the dishes, thus helping you contribute to world peace.

- And oh!! Nadal ousted from ze French Open! *shriek* what next? Cows that cant fly? Or lions that roar? Oh my god! Such impossibility! :|
Sorry for the sarcasm but this one's for the people who said "Feddy looks cute in tears" and things...
Nefarious Demon? Listening? :P
Its OK to lose.

-Is this really going anywhere?
No duh!
(-_-)

I'll write soon!
Ta!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

au revoir...


It hasn't rained this heavily in a long time.
My phone is switched off. Battery low.
I'm just lying here, numb.
Mom has asked me that question thrice over.
I haven't said anything.
I'm listening to "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls.
And tonight i just cannot hold off these tears.

The same movie is playing in my head, yet again....
first time I saw you... your "spider legs" handwriting... how I couldn't stop gushing about you to my sister... the first time I called you up... that white shirt of yours... how I used to draw your zoology diagrams... our first kiss... college fest... a thousand other college fests... elephant jokes... the fourth floor... "the blue bullshit"... pulse 2006... chemistry department disaster... the things you told me after graduation day... corner house ice creams... 11th of may last year... your favourite snooker shot... B11... that highway accident.. the first time I cried for you.. all the times you made me laugh.. that poem you wrote for me...

I remember everything...

A year and a half ago, life "couldn't have been better".
but, I didn't know that you were gonna take my life and wreck it-
and wreck it so bad that I'd never be able put it back together again.
You broke my heart and now I'm dying.
Thanks for making me one pathetic, weeping mess.
It's painful you know, to put on a stupid fucking happy face and walk around, when all you want to do is sit down & cry. Hoping someone would understand.
Hoping someone would go "its ok..."
I cannot tell you what I'm going through. I cannot tell anyone.
"I promise. We'll be friends... Forever."
Fuck. My. Life.

As of now, I have no clue where my life is going. I'm in the worst of situations. I'm helpless.
I don't know what will happen over the next five years.
Hopefully someone will put a band aid over my broken heart.
Hopefully you will.

You know, I just wish that I could wake up and realise this is all just a bad dream.
I hate what you've done to me.
I hate the fact that I let you do what you've done to me.
I hate the fact that deep down, I still hope you will change & come running right back to me.

And now, you're leaving huh...?
Congratulations.
I cannot tell you how sad i am.
Because, I'm not.
Have fun.

As for these tears, they are gonna keep coming...

...for a lifetime, at the least.