Gone fishin'

caricature:
–noun
1. a picture or description, ludicrously exaggerating the peculiarities or features of a person's face.
I recently had an artist draw mine... And I'm not complaining.

kleenex.
children of bodom.
lace.
zener diode.
goa.
tick
tock
tick... tock...

Allow me, the blissfully ignorant one, to share some gyan with you:
* Don't ever wish that you could go back in time to change something that happened. Because hey, you are going back in time right? You cant go back back any smarter than you already were. Whats worse... you'll have to live it all again.
*Your boyfriend isn't shallow; you are probably looking like a garbage can. Just check.
*Take a bleeding heart and throw in a thesaurus; you now have a poet!
*Life is entertainment like no other. Just grab your pop corn and sit back.
*When your girlfriend has no currency to text message for two weeks straight; you're on your way to getting dumped.
*Save water. Shower with your neighbour. Don't shower.
*On a bad hair/face/ass day, smoke half a pack of cigarettes.
Works like magic.
* If you do not generally laugh when someone farts; you need immediate help.

I'm not doing very well, thank you.
i BLEW my chances of getting the Carlsberg Beer promotion happening all over town.
i have broken my glasses, again.
HAIRFALL!! X(
is it ok to feel vomit-y for 48 hours+ ?
is it not ok to lie down and have dinner?
i'm sick of this sweltering weather.
approximately 40% of the girls in Bangalore need to go get a life.
will you take me home?
I said "NO" to beer yesterday!!
Hence proved.

You see, i'm feeling a bit retarded.
I need to pull myself together... you know... get my act right.

So i'm off...

Leaving you here with...

...me!

Sayonara!

abandon my agony

The night is dying
soon the sun will knock on my door
I reach for you again...
Want to touch you one last time...
knowing too well
that this dream will end, as dawn breaks...

Often, the morning breeze bothers me.
When "sweet nothings" become literally that,
is it too late to try and make things better?
Where is the sense in holding tight
when you've let go?

Once there was you
then you took my hand
and when we both sang
it felt like... living...

When summer ended
it snatched you away...
The fireplace just doesn't help anymore
& I've never been one to borrow a shoulder...
Its winter when you're away.
but its winter either way,
stone cold that you are...

How will speaking softly help?
You are scared as hell/that's how it seems.
You don't want the whole world knowing,
and say "not just yet..." but i know what that means.

And then there was me,
immaculate...
talking a lot
and walking the talk,
from a distance, of course...
...until the day
i stumbled...

lying here, chagrined, is painful...
there's a storm... in my head...
and a heart that aches...

but something isn't right...
wait.
it's you and me we're talking about here...
did i not tell you?
did i not promise?

Don't let go...
"not just yet" and you know what I mean...
make it worth the battles I've fought...
make it worth all those tears...
every night, ever since...

Redeem me of the pain...
take my hand and save my life...



*Title inspired by name of Bangalore based death metal band Abandoned Agony.

I randomly crave for certain eatables at un-godly hours.

4 pm.
the other day:

I was starving.
The chapatis weren't tempting me.
I bought a pack of Britannia bourbon.

My mind was racing...
"Sorry my love, I have been unfaithful. I have been guiltily snacking on potato chips for a while now. Pardon me. But know this, I never forgot you... ever. Thought about you... all along....
Only you.
But do not weep, for I have to returned.
This is our destiny. I have you in my arms now. I ask for nothing more."

(at this point I take a break to laugh my butt off, oblivious to the bored/annoyed expression on YOUR face)

(I now continue the narration)

I ripped the packet open, which I noticed had changed (a considerable bit) over time.
With the gastric juices completely at work, I plunged my hand into the packet and pulled one baby out- all the while muttering "yum.... yum... yum...."
I gazed at it.

*whip cracking noise*
Eyes: widen in shock.
Salivary Glands: suddenly defunct.
Violins in the background: grind to halt.

One. Sugar. Crystal.
Just one bloody sugar crystal on the entire rectangular space...
What?? no!!
What happened to so many sugar crystals that used to almost cover the biscuit?!
I checked out the other pieces!
Same story.

My heart fell.
I felt like the Prince, who after being banished from his kingdom for epic-inspiring-reasons, returns to see it in evil hands.
In ruins.
Tears, then anger, consumed me!
I declared war!

(I now decide to cut out on anymore possible Ramayan-ish innuendos from this narration and mellow down my tone)

Disappointed, I finished the pack of sugar crystal deficient "bubbon bikki"... reminiscent... of the days in Jodhpur... and this biscuit then...
Sitting on the swing, I let the wave of mixed feelings crash against me. Over, and over again.
And I wordlessly asked no one in particular...
"you think they got them too? britannia little hearts... do you...?"
And I realised i had this well formed tear, sitting at the corner of my right eye...
I bent my head... closed my eyes...
It rolled right down...

* * * * * *



Its 4 bloody am.
I think I have insomnia.
Enrique's music is gay.
I want some hot, "full of flavour" melt-in-the-mouth seekh kababs.
Right now x(
I am salivating.
Like you aren't. biiiitch.
Willing to even go brush my teeth for it!
Its 4 bloody am.

* * * * *

More on "Why I'm listening to great music form the 40's, 50's and 60's" soon.
Also, listen in on what movie I watched over the weekend & how I killed a grizzly bear in an epic tale of love, nutrition and symbiosis.

Stuff I want to post about but cant find enough smart-ass words:
*cell phones (i want to throw mine away 'cuz it wont stop beeping.)
*insomnia
*valentine's day
*relationships
*dark circles
* and... about my "me nooo shut up, ever." disease

time: 0430 hours.
YAWN.
Good morning folks.
:|

New Post. ( i'm THAT bored)

I'm feeling horrible today. My guy friends' group is en-route to Mallu Land for vacation*
I am not.
I am at home. Not travelling in a train. Not laughing my head off at men's humour that I was just designed to resonate with. Not planning on how to get druuuuunk, the next seven days. No sirree.
Not making grand plans of how to protect our bags & luggage from strangers/thieves/cops.
And certainly not chalking out a cool modus operandi involving my bros helping the only girl in the group get around Thrissur without being stoned to death. 

Activity: Write a letter to someone you have always wanted to, but have never had the time. Grades to be counted for final assessment."

Letter that didn't get an A+

Dear Indian moral police,
Fuck you, okay? In the ass. And NO lube.
Long time... Haven't heard from you guys since, erm, the last time you took away someone's freedom? Hope all is rotten your end.
I have to congratulate you upon your latest accomplishment. Thanks for stopping me going on a rail trip with my brothers!

These were the reasons given to an almost-20 year old girl (with the best biceps in the group) as to why she shouldn't go on this trip:
a) "You are incapable of protecting yourself." Well, you're wrong there.
b) "You must not be sharing rooms with boys. " My fucking life!

c) "What if you get homesick/in a problem?" 7 days for Lord's sake. Just 7 friggin' days.
d) Finally, the trump card-  *that* shocked expression. seriously? You people are sadists. And pussies. Oh and also, narrow minded. NARROW MINDED. Hey, did I mention "narrow minded"?

Hmmm... So... %&^$ @# ? $^ Ah? @#$%^* i do hope... And*!@$@ h#% d#$%^^* v $%&^ #$^%^f d$^% b &%* o&#$ It sure @$%&(. You $% ghd%eta f*#$ you definitely do $^^@#$... hmmm so how t$#^%?? Aww fuck you... %$&^ $^*^** #%% Yeah, *%&#$ 'kay!

Until next time then...
Two middle fingers.

Pecky

* * * * *

Feeling all sad, I got home from the railway station.
6:20 am.

Vh1.

Excuse me?

Yeah. That's him and that is him.
"Streets of Philadelphia" was playing.
That's when I realised... that... these two have ditto faces!


See??


Uncanny or what? #celebritylookalikes

* * * * *

I force this upon my ears when I'm low and out.
James Brown: I Feel Good.

It really just works like a motherfucker.

Hmmm so until I get my next salary, or that phone call from UK, or maybe even an extra itchy pimple,
bye!
=)

P.S.
All images in this post have been put together by me.

Aren't Yellow dresses just F. A. B.?
Period.

signed: clueless.

So...
I'm currently ga-ga over:

POLAROIDS!

I mean, how fantastic are these things (right now)?
If you know me well, you'll know what's going on in my head.
"How much will a Polaroid cam cost? Wiki- here i come! Hmmm and what should I shoot when I get it..? Whats gonna be the caption for each shot...? How to convince dad? Hey I can take cool pictures with it for my blog. One everyday, like Ashley! Wow I love Polaroids!"

I recently saw a lot of these in a documentary on the Discovery channel, in "dostana" and hey, even visual DNA uses these! see? Polaroids are everywhere! :D

(Image used is a photograph taken by Jeff Zoet in 2005)

And guess what I'm gonna do now...?

talk some more! XD

*Try saying aloud, "wasps" or "tasks" even "grasps".
Notice the weird little noise at the end of each word- they're quite funny!
Me and my sister were studying one afternoon and discovered this.
Now try "bursts" :P

*The goth name generator called me "Trainwreck". Heck!!
It also called sudvrjcuw "Trainwreck".

*My mother had been trying to talk to anybody from the TataSky "helpline" for two days. Apparently the mechanical voice kept asking her to wait till they connected her to someone from technical support. I tried. It connected in no time.
"Don't tell them you are an existing customer ma, press the button they ask you to, for scheduling an installation. Someone will answer in under 10 seconds" I told her.
It happens only in India!

*Chances are, you'll be less bored on Facebook after 3 hours of logging in, versus 2 on Orkut.

*I just saw the first look of Dilli 6- Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra's "much awaited next". Sorry to say but it looks like a Saawariya (minus the blue) meets Bluffmaster and they fly to New York movie!
I really hope I'm wrong, and that there's more on offer.

*12 different people asked me 57 different questions today.
"I don't know" has been my answer.

*Yesterday I was just going through my music library. You know, through the old stuff which i haven't heard in the longest time And i came across an old favourite- Come Undone by Duran Duran... have heard it 23 times since.
Also playing: Billy Joel's She's always a woman to me. Two steps behind by Def Leppard, this track called Its all coming back to me now and Ronan Keating's When you say nothing at all... Also the almost dreamy Fable by Robert Miles.
I feel 14 again! :)
By the way, my sister finally got an i-pod (pink!!) as a late Christmas gift. So yayyy!
:D

* Have you noticed that I'm actually sounding cheerful? Unlike the 364 days of last year? I'll tell you why. Its because I know I have a way out. I just realised that I can always just get the hell out of engineering. So there's really nothing much to worry about and cry! =)

*From the makers maker of Orkutti and the Menu Card jokes:
Q: If they made a sequel to "Rock On!!" what would they call it?
Ans: Moron.
(as in, More-On!!)

If you didn't think my joke was funny, go on, take a dekko of this:



Still not funny?
You need to get laid.