What's exams got to do with it?

Everything.



My end semester exams start on October 12th
*faints*

-Rewind to a few days back-

Me: (beaming) I've done really well in the tests! :D
Dad: (from behind the newspaper) Of course you did, you are older than everybody else in class.
Me: Er... hello? I really did well...
Dad: (in some kinda trance) You had better get a distinction. All your cousins have completed graduation! No excuses! Top the college! I want to see a gold medal!
Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahha!
Haha. It's B.A. I'm doing. They wont give me a gold medal even if I take the exam under the fricking ocean and top the class.
Dad: (in total trance) Don't say that. Work hard. Have faith. You can do it. You Can Win. One Minute Manager. Who moved My Cheese? First, Break All The Rules. 7 Habits of Habits of Highly Effective People. (yes, I said total trance)
Me: Er... Bye dad.

* * *
Its 3 days, 85 hours and 5001 minutes for exam to start and I have questions:

Why does my best friend decide to buy that dark, gloomy cloud and hang it right over my head?
Why must the cutest boy in town message me all the time when I have 5 full units to study?
Why does my dad suddenly decide to "let's have a drink tonight, beta?"
Free fucking whiskey- like I'll ever refuse.
Why is my blow-job of a neighbor bursting crackers all day- at regular intervals of time?
Motherfucker, it ain't diwali yet and I'm really trying to study.
And why does my other neighbor suddenly want to drill a zillion holes in his wall?!
If he goes on for one more day, I swear he'll be the first of our species to have two assholes.
Why did my sister bring the world's-most-amazing-movie-collection home?
How can I fall asleep while studying, 6 times in a row?
How the fuck can I still be watching TV & eating potato chips all day?
Who replaced my appetite with a whale's?!

Synopsis:
Exams- they're here.
I have just 2 million distractions to battle.
I just cant stop eating for fuck's sake.
Calorie intake surpasses actual requirement by light years.
Seratonin OD. I cant even stay awake long enough to figure out "functions of the hippocampus"
Exams- they're here.
*dies*

I randomly crave for certain eatables at un-godly hours.

4 pm.
the other day:

I was starving.
The chapatis weren't tempting me.
I bought a pack of Britannia bourbon.

My mind was racing...
"Sorry my love, I have been unfaithful. I have been guiltily snacking on potato chips for a while now. Pardon me. But know this, I never forgot you... ever. Thought about you... all along....
Only you.
But do not weep, for I have to returned.
This is our destiny. I have you in my arms now. I ask for nothing more."

(at this point I take a break to laugh my butt off, oblivious to the bored/annoyed expression on YOUR face)

(I now continue the narration)

I ripped the packet open, which I noticed had changed (a considerable bit) over time.
With the gastric juices completely at work, I plunged my hand into the packet and pulled one baby out- all the while muttering "yum.... yum... yum...."
I gazed at it.

*whip cracking noise*
Eyes: widen in shock.
Salivary Glands: suddenly defunct.
Violins in the background: grind to halt.

One. Sugar. Crystal.
Just one bloody sugar crystal on the entire rectangular space...
What?? no!!
What happened to so many sugar crystals that used to almost cover the biscuit?!
I checked out the other pieces!
Same story.

My heart fell.
I felt like the Prince, who after being banished from his kingdom for epic-inspiring-reasons, returns to see it in evil hands.
In ruins.
Tears, then anger, consumed me!
I declared war!

(I now decide to cut out on anymore possible Ramayan-ish innuendos from this narration and mellow down my tone)

Disappointed, I finished the pack of sugar crystal deficient "bubbon bikki"... reminiscent... of the days in Jodhpur... and this biscuit then...
Sitting on the swing, I let the wave of mixed feelings crash against me. Over, and over again.
And I wordlessly asked no one in particular...
"you think they got them too? britannia little hearts... do you...?"
And I realised i had this well formed tear, sitting at the corner of my right eye...
I bent my head... closed my eyes...
It rolled right down...

* * * * * *



Its 4 bloody am.
I think I have insomnia.
Enrique's music is gay.
I want some hot, "full of flavour" melt-in-the-mouth seekh kababs.
Right now x(
I am salivating.
Like you aren't. biiiitch.
Willing to even go brush my teeth for it!
Its 4 bloody am.

* * * * *

More on "Why I'm listening to great music form the 40's, 50's and 60's" soon.
Also, listen in on what movie I watched over the weekend & how I killed a grizzly bear in an epic tale of love, nutrition and symbiosis.

Stuff I want to post about but cant find enough smart-ass words:
*cell phones (i want to throw mine away 'cuz it wont stop beeping.)
*insomnia
*valentine's day
*relationships
*dark circles
* and... about my "me nooo shut up, ever." disease

time: 0430 hours.
YAWN.
Good morning folks.
:|