The Ugly Truth... (Everybody has one)

Psychology is dull.
I had a test on "Study of gender differences".
See, that is a just a tiny part of my psychology syllabus that explores everything from modules of memory, to intelligence theories, and biological basis of behaviour.
Dull.
So I started going through the stupidly typed out "points to remember".
-Men naturally exhibit qualities to do with leadership, aggression, and independence.
-Women possess traits involving warmth, nurturance and sensitivity.
*Yawn*
-Women do not state the facts outright, but tend to add question tags.
eg. "Its cold today, isn't it?"
No thanks, not me.
-Men talk assertively and state facts outright.So much easier. Hmm.
-Women are better at transmitting and decoding non-verbal cues (involving facial expression, eye contact, body postures and movements). They can tell what another person means/wants by observing and mentally analysing these cues.
They do? Am I missing something here? If a man scratches his balls, isn't he just itchy? End of story, no? What's to fucking decode?!
-Women view aggression as loss of self control, thus, avoid it
Ha! Gay bitches.
-Men view aggression as an exercise in self control over others, as a result of challenge to their self esteem.
See? That's more like it! I still remember. Dyutidhar. Bitch-slapped him right across the face!
-Causes for gender differences... blah... Berenbaum and Hines... blah blah 1992 study... assessment of children's preferences in toys... blah...
Toys...
Toys.I never had a barbie doll. Barbie is gay.
Soft toys- nope. Teddy bears- hell no. No pink shit. No frocks. No baby pictures of me with long, brushed, pretty hair. I'm covered in mud in half my photos. I'm bruised/bleeding/crying in the rest.
The words rang in my head:
Barbie dolls... Aggression... Nurturance... Body postures... toys... mud... bruises... differences. GENDER DIFFERENCES.

I'm..... I'm....? not? *sob* Am I not....? *sniff sniff*
I have more boy-traits than girl traits. *sniff*
After all those hours spent every morning to shave my legs? After all these years of sitting down and peeing? *sob*
"But what the hell! I have boobs! I've had them forever" I said to myself as I broke down.
"Adi has boobs." said an evil voice that came from the very depths of my head.
"Shut up motherfucker" I said to the evil voice that came from the very depths of my head.

Then, I heard a bodiless 'good' voice. I wiped the tears off my face. With a very business-like tone, it asked me a few questions.

Do you know about the latest sensation in the gadget world?
"No."
What are 'stocks' and 'shares'?
"Dunno."
RSS feeds? BitTorrent??
"No idea."Do you get drunk and talk about sex?
"Yes."
Did you watch Swat Kats as a child growing up? "Nope!"
Do you watch football only because of the hot guys and not know what 'offside' means?
*giggle*
Congratulations, clueless. You are a girl.
You are as much a girl as Edward Cullen is gay.
"Oh! Thank you bodiless 'good' voice with a very business-like tone! Thank you ever so much! I can peacefully go to sleep now and think about unnecessary things to spend a lot of money on!
Goodnight..."

What's exams got to do with it?

Everything.



My end semester exams start on October 12th
*faints*

-Rewind to a few days back-

Me: (beaming) I've done really well in the tests! :D
Dad: (from behind the newspaper) Of course you did, you are older than everybody else in class.
Me: Er... hello? I really did well...
Dad: (in some kinda trance) You had better get a distinction. All your cousins have completed graduation! No excuses! Top the college! I want to see a gold medal!
Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahha!
Haha. It's B.A. I'm doing. They wont give me a gold medal even if I take the exam under the fricking ocean and top the class.
Dad: (in total trance) Don't say that. Work hard. Have faith. You can do it. You Can Win. One Minute Manager. Who moved My Cheese? First, Break All The Rules. 7 Habits of Habits of Highly Effective People. (yes, I said total trance)
Me: Er... Bye dad.

* * *
Its 3 days, 85 hours and 5001 minutes for exam to start and I have questions:

Why does my best friend decide to buy that dark, gloomy cloud and hang it right over my head?
Why must the cutest boy in town message me all the time when I have 5 full units to study?
Why does my dad suddenly decide to "let's have a drink tonight, beta?"
Free fucking whiskey- like I'll ever refuse.
Why is my blow-job of a neighbor bursting crackers all day- at regular intervals of time?
Motherfucker, it ain't diwali yet and I'm really trying to study.
And why does my other neighbor suddenly want to drill a zillion holes in his wall?!
If he goes on for one more day, I swear he'll be the first of our species to have two assholes.
Why did my sister bring the world's-most-amazing-movie-collection home?
How can I fall asleep while studying, 6 times in a row?
How the fuck can I still be watching TV & eating potato chips all day?
Who replaced my appetite with a whale's?!

Synopsis:
Exams- they're here.
I have just 2 million distractions to battle.
I just cant stop eating for fuck's sake.
Calorie intake surpasses actual requirement by light years.
Seratonin OD. I cant even stay awake long enough to figure out "functions of the hippocampus"
Exams- they're here.
*dies*

signed: clueless.

So...
I'm currently ga-ga over:

POLAROIDS!

I mean, how fantastic are these things (right now)?
If you know me well, you'll know what's going on in my head.
"How much will a Polaroid cam cost? Wiki- here i come! Hmmm and what should I shoot when I get it..? Whats gonna be the caption for each shot...? How to convince dad? Hey I can take cool pictures with it for my blog. One everyday, like Ashley! Wow I love Polaroids!"

I recently saw a lot of these in a documentary on the Discovery channel, in "dostana" and hey, even visual DNA uses these! see? Polaroids are everywhere! :D

(Image used is a photograph taken by Jeff Zoet in 2005)

And guess what I'm gonna do now...?

talk some more! XD

*Try saying aloud, "wasps" or "tasks" even "grasps".
Notice the weird little noise at the end of each word- they're quite funny!
Me and my sister were studying one afternoon and discovered this.
Now try "bursts" :P

*The goth name generator called me "Trainwreck". Heck!!
It also called sudvrjcuw "Trainwreck".

*My mother had been trying to talk to anybody from the TataSky "helpline" for two days. Apparently the mechanical voice kept asking her to wait till they connected her to someone from technical support. I tried. It connected in no time.
"Don't tell them you are an existing customer ma, press the button they ask you to, for scheduling an installation. Someone will answer in under 10 seconds" I told her.
It happens only in India!

*Chances are, you'll be less bored on Facebook after 3 hours of logging in, versus 2 on Orkut.

*I just saw the first look of Dilli 6- Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra's "much awaited next". Sorry to say but it looks like a Saawariya (minus the blue) meets Bluffmaster and they fly to New York movie!
I really hope I'm wrong, and that there's more on offer.

*12 different people asked me 57 different questions today.
"I don't know" has been my answer.

*Yesterday I was just going through my music library. You know, through the old stuff which i haven't heard in the longest time And i came across an old favourite- Come Undone by Duran Duran... have heard it 23 times since.
Also playing: Billy Joel's She's always a woman to me. Two steps behind by Def Leppard, this track called Its all coming back to me now and Ronan Keating's When you say nothing at all... Also the almost dreamy Fable by Robert Miles.
I feel 14 again! :)
By the way, my sister finally got an i-pod (pink!!) as a late Christmas gift. So yayyy!
:D

* Have you noticed that I'm actually sounding cheerful? Unlike the 364 days of last year? I'll tell you why. Its because I know I have a way out. I just realised that I can always just get the hell out of engineering. So there's really nothing much to worry about and cry! =)

*From the makers maker of Orkutti and the Menu Card jokes:
Q: If they made a sequel to "Rock On!!" what would they call it?
Ans: Moron.
(as in, More-On!!)

If you didn't think my joke was funny, go on, take a dekko of this:



Still not funny?
You need to get laid.

All done!

*jittery*
first thing: I never imagined my blog in this avtaar... all the same, i love it... Its looking all pretty and Christmas-ey! :)

firster thing: Christmas! less than 10 days to go!

No. I'm not Christian (and while we're at it, I'm not a Mangalorean and NOT from Andhra either.) but there's something about the-last-week-of-december that makes me super happy!

Maybe its all those colours... Maybe all those lights... Presents? umm... Wine? Wine? Wine.
or... is it all the hype? Bingo!
I mean its the one day in the year I see my Dad actually livin' it up! :p

.

Christmas in as many words i can think of: Here it go!

Marshmallows, candy canes, stockings, Santa! christmas cake, tinsel, christmas trees, chimneys, decorations, baubles, angels, miseltoe, presents, fancy fireplace, happiness, wrapping paper, red+ green+gold, stars, warm woolies, ugg boots, christmas carols, family, turkey and roast potaoes, gravy, christmas pudding and snow...

Pity it doesn't snow here though... :(
Which reminds me, my sister's passport arrived, taking us one step closer to the white, snowy Christmas me and mum keep dreaming of... :D
aah! more dreams and schemes later...

Second thing: Someone pointed out to me recently, that there has been a more-than-subtle change in my newer posts, in terms of content...
She said that reading my blog now feels like reading someone's diary...
(are you kidding me?! i LOVE reading people's diaries! :P by accident of course!)
So I just want to tell her that more old-school posts coming up... Promise. 0:)
But only in January as I have some serious shopping/partying/holidaying to do! :D

Last thing: I was quite sick, the past couple of days. I've even recovered from the horrible back injury... So now I'm done blowing my nose and taking paracetamol for the year. Any alcohol going down my throat, now onwards, will not be in the form of cough syrup.

And now its time for- drumroll, please- My Random Rants!

.

*My old man couriered home a box of chocolates... again! cute or what? xD awww dad!
* 100 free sms are not enough. How many people am I messaging? Where is all my currency going?! HELLO?! Calls to Ireland: 9.5 bucks a minute! jeez!
*This one occurred to me while watering the plants last night: Cannot believe that ONCE i used to say things like hero pen and homework or shut your gob or ditcher & yeah, this one makes me laugh - geometry box... I mean just 4 years ago "Saturdays" still meant white uniform and Mass PT... Good old days or something they say....

* What is to food as masturbation is to sex? if you know, let me know...

* scooters, vacation, fall...? Imagine a post with tags like that.

Haha. ha. I want hot chicken soup. Now.

*Nancy Meyers should give me littttle credit. Iris from "The Holiday" (2006) is me!
*the not-logged-into-facebook record: 24 hours+

*the bad-hair-day record: 192 hours+

of a book and some more books.

Yes. This is the book I'm absolutely dying to read.

Will not say much here.

Just, I have a bizarre feeling that this is the story of a guy I only know too well.

It maybe, may not be...

Well... can't wait to get my hands on this one.

a big thank you to Clever Girl and her shelfari! =)

I also want to read:

Tart (Red Dress Ink Novels) by Jody Gehrman.

Shantaram by GregoryDavid Roberts.
The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga.
and one piece each by Ruskin Bond and John Keats.

Hmmm, that's it for now...

and there's no way i can let you go without telling you about. . . . .

Marley and Me.

"life and love with the world's worst dog"

eeeeeeee!!! xD

Its by John Grogan and is the cutest looking book I've seen in a while!

Big thanks to total sweetheart Sam, or I'd still be thinking its just another Hollywood flick...

(Jen Aniston+Owen Wilson, btw... <3)

just when am I going to Landmark next?!

*scratches head and checks wallet.*

Update: ART VANDELAY asked me for my email id, shortly after we got acquainted with each other... I gave it to him thinking "orkut..." & had been busy for the next couple of days... When I checked my mail the day after, I was pleasantly surprised! He had sent me the e-book of the "I Hope They Serve..."

Sweet or what!?

Oktober-stressed!

Right now, if I were a picture, I'd be this one. This is kinda how I've been feeling lately.




I'm yet to come to terms with the fact that I'm going to graduate a year after my "normal" batchmates will D:
I'm yet to come to terms with the fact that my parents fully understand the same.
tch tch...
I'm putting on weight, by the way. (shit!)
Pimples. (bitches! they're getting redder and redder!)
plus these random things* in my head. (unavoidable.)
my dog's not doing very well :'(
I am broke.
*going nuts*

OK what I'm really trying to say is: "I haven't been spending enough time at my desk, writing. So will not be posting a lot, this October."

Right now I'm flirting with the idea of cutting my hair really short/ get my nose pierced/ both.
:D
but then I'll have to convince my college staff to believe that I'm the same species as them so, dunno.
and hey the "festival of lights" is coming up & so is a major family do & so are lots of college fests.
hopefully that will cheer me up.
Here's praying that the pictures will be more cheerful, November on...
:)

random things*
gotta find reasons to justify my erratic behaviour these days.
been ages since i went to fanoo's. *drools*
thu! thu! thoooooooooo! year back!!!
'jaane kyu... dil jaanta hai.. tuh hai toh i'll be alright'
i should go & enrol with a theater group. really.
technically i'm a first year. does that allow me to take part in Maitri-08? o_O
i wasted three bucks to send an SMS for the mtv tickr! it didn't even appear on TV! grr!
yellow is the colour of the season! need those yellow ballerina shoes! XD
raj thackeray in jail! wow! :D
its bleeding impossible to make clockwise circles with my right foot and make the number "6" with my right hand at the same time!! >.<


Yeah, by the way, "stressed" rhymes with "fest". Hence the title. :P
I'll catch you guys soon! :)

random thoughts... no, really.

i wish i was two inches taller.
i wish i had wings.
i wish i was really good at studies.
-big deal if i hang out with 7 boys all the time!!
still, i wish i was a boy. *sighs*
i wish i could find that purple nail polish again!
i wish my HOD gets thrown into jail. i cant stand the sight of that twisted, evil bastard.
i wish i could speak French... :)
i wish there was no such thing as "attendance" :(
i wish i had more money.
i wish i had even more money!