Clueless, the 20 year old bundle of useless talent and a shining star of the Poor-Jokes world is on the brink of death. Stressful college activities are reported to have pushed her to the edge, though experts suggest it could be due to nicotine or alcohol overdose or both.
Last heard, clueless's "Project hot-bod for Christmas & New Year" had taken off with a bang only to crash-landed on day 3 due to her enlightenment about class tests from 17th of this month through 19th.
She is reported to have cried inconsolably at the failed mission. Though top sources tell us that she is secretly overjoyed at the thought of lazing in bed for "a few more precious hours" every morning.
We do not know whom to believe.
We're interrupting this broadcast to get you I-swear-I-dont-know-what.
Oh. Ooops. Sorry.
What you're going to hear now is the voice of clueless. We've managed to establish telephone contact with her:
"Hey there readers... *cough* These assholes have already told you everything that has to be told... Just that I really miss posting here... but I am busy and almost dead *cough cough* Will post soon... I also have a few announcements to make when I return... Ahem. Love you guys. Thanks for the patience. *gasp* Nurse!! Water! WATER! Aaaa... ... ..."
Welcome back. Fresh reports coming in about... er... Christmas decorations for her blog and a "poll" if I'm not mistaken. Yes. They're going to be up shortly . Polls, we hear, were a popular feature of her blog back in 2008.
We do not have any footage to show you; no File photos of her "in happier times" either.
We don't know what else to say.
We're experiencing technical glitches.
(That always works.)
Showing posts with label exam blues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exam blues. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
What's exams got to do with it?
Everything.
My end semester exams start on October 12th
*faints*
-Rewind to a few days back-
Me: (beaming) I've done really well in the tests! :D
Dad: (from behind the newspaper) Of course you did, you are older than everybody else in class.
Me: Er... hello? I really did well...
Dad: (in some kinda trance) You had better get a distinction. All your cousins have completed graduation! No excuses! Top the college! I want to see a gold medal!
Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahha!
Haha. It's B.A. I'm doing. They wont give me a gold medal even if I take the exam under the fricking ocean and top the class.
Dad: (in total trance) Don't say that. Work hard. Have faith. You can do it. You Can Win. One Minute Manager. Who moved My Cheese? First, Break All The Rules. 7 Habits of Habits of Highly Effective People. (yes, I said total trance)
Me: Er... Bye dad.
* * *
Its 3 days, 85 hours and 5001 minutes for exam to start and I have questions:
Why does my best friend decide to buy that dark, gloomy cloud and hang it right over my head?
Why must the cutest boy in town message me all the time when I have 5 full units to study?
Why does my dad suddenly decide to "let's have a drink tonight, beta?"
Free fucking whiskey- like I'll ever refuse.
Why is my blow-job of a neighbor bursting crackers all day- at regular intervals of time?
Motherfucker, it ain't diwali yet and I'm really trying to study.
And why does my other neighbor suddenly want to drill a zillion holes in his wall?!
If he goes on for one more day, I swear he'll be the first of our species to have two assholes.
Why did my sister bring the world's-most-amazing-movie-collection home?
How can I fall asleep while studying, 6 times in a row?
How the fuck can I still be watching TV & eating potato chips all day?
Who replaced my appetite with a whale's?!
Synopsis:
Exams- they're here.
I have just 2 million distractions to battle.
I just cant stop eating for fuck's sake.
Calorie intake surpasses actual requirement by light years.
Seratonin OD. I cant even stay awake long enough to figure out "functions of the hippocampus"
Exams- they're here.
*dies*
My end semester exams start on October 12th
*faints*
-Rewind to a few days back-
Me: (beaming) I've done really well in the tests! :D
Dad: (from behind the newspaper) Of course you did, you are older than everybody else in class.
Me: Er... hello? I really did well...
Dad: (in some kinda trance) You had better get a distinction. All your cousins have completed graduation! No excuses! Top the college! I want to see a gold medal!
Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahha!
Haha. It's B.A. I'm doing. They wont give me a gold medal even if I take the exam under the fricking ocean and top the class.
Dad: (in total trance) Don't say that. Work hard. Have faith. You can do it. You Can Win. One Minute Manager. Who moved My Cheese? First, Break All The Rules. 7 Habits of Habits of Highly Effective People. (yes, I said total trance)
Me: Er... Bye dad.
* * *
Its 3 days, 85 hours and 5001 minutes for exam to start and I have questions:
Why does my best friend decide to buy that dark, gloomy cloud and hang it right over my head?
Why must the cutest boy in town message me all the time when I have 5 full units to study?
Why does my dad suddenly decide to "let's have a drink tonight, beta?"
Free fucking whiskey- like I'll ever refuse.
Why is my blow-job of a neighbor bursting crackers all day- at regular intervals of time?
Motherfucker, it ain't diwali yet and I'm really trying to study.
And why does my other neighbor suddenly want to drill a zillion holes in his wall?!
If he goes on for one more day, I swear he'll be the first of our species to have two assholes.
Why did my sister bring the world's-most-amazing-movie-collection home?
How can I fall asleep while studying, 6 times in a row?
How the fuck can I still be watching TV & eating potato chips all day?
Who replaced my appetite with a whale's?!
Synopsis:
Exams- they're here.
I have just 2 million distractions to battle.
I just cant stop eating for fuck's sake.
Calorie intake surpasses actual requirement by light years.
Seratonin OD. I cant even stay awake long enough to figure out "functions of the hippocampus"
Exams- they're here.
*dies*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)