Tuesday, March 23, 2010

For your nostrils only

It's better than George Clooney deciding to show up on my doorstep.
It's better than the thought of him kissing me passionately.
It's better than sex.

That smell: It is intoxi-fucking-cating. It's crazy.
I'm talking about Naphthalene balls. Moth balls, if you will.
I'm addicted to them. Period.

So addicted, that I stuff my nostrils with them and t
NEVERMIND.

But seriously- I discovered an unopened box of these precious little babies while cleaning my room last week. I ripped it open and sniffed:
GOD DAYMN!
Something seized every cell in my body; twisted it upside-down-inside-out at the same time and I was orgasming for 20 whole minutes.
I couldn't put the damn thing down till I started writhing and my dog almost called the ambulance.
So good. SO GOOD. Oh!
It got me thinking:
Is there a way I can, surgically, make them a part of my body?
You know... Get tiny naphthalene ball implants somewhere up my nose?
Or tweak the olfactory lobe in my brain so I get the feeling of inhaling it all day long? Ahh! *drools*
(complete silence)
Er? Someone please tell me something can be done? Hello?!
Hey! Science and technology has surely advanced that much!
Hmph!

Reactions I got regarding this "situation":
Friend 1: The hell?! Weirdo!
Friend 2: Dude! Its like that Erazex shit! You'll fuck yourself over!
Friend 3: I've to post a letter. Bye.
Pen-pal: Er. It's not normal you know.
Mum: ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यम्...
Sister: Cancer! Cancer! Cancer! Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
Dog: I'll put the doctor on speed dial.

In my defence: It's not a big deal. I only spend a few hours with them daily and I seem to be functioning OK. Sigh!

* * *
Bloggers, bloggers and Roman bloggers, lend me your ears; I come to talk...
and I won't take long, I promise. So here goes :P

Girls make the W.O.R.S.T. friends. It's true. *puke*

Taco Bell opened a few blocks from my house. Guess what I've been doing?

I'm part of this theater group called Cult. And my tiny little theater debut happened this month- I was part of a play called GOD by Woody Allen. Grand eh? :D
I played a cougar. Ahem. I'm skipping this part when I'm telling my grandchildren the story.

Anne Robinson is just fucking annoying.

I finally saw Avatar in 3-D. Visually: EPIC.
Story? Wow, Bollywood's done better. Honestly.

Arsenal plays Barcelona in the UEFA quarter finals :'(
Dead.

I saw the funniest Facebook status update. It went:
"XYZ is on a cram-overdrive... and hallucinating.
I think my notebook just barked at me! =O
"

For more laughs check out www.failblog.org.
Oh and please go get a dekko of The Annoying Orange on YouTube. The earlier episodes are dope! xP

Mmm... What else what else what else?
Oh yeah! Zoozoos! The latest set of Zoozoo ads are pretty sucky.
They are not cute anymore. Not even clever. They've lost their charm. Sigh.
I hate the stupid ugly yellow tiger and hate the stupid green trees.
Is it just me? Bla.

Well...
That's all I wanted to say.
So be good, you guys. Get drunk.
I'll write soon... ish. Found myself an internship you see! ;)

Bye!





P.S. What's happening in Bangalore on the 15th of May?
That's right. It IS true.
\../. .\../
Couldn't help myself. Wait for the next post.

11 comments:

  1. Hellloo!

    Thanks for stopping by :)
    Your title reminds me of my post, for your ears only.
    Man, you've got to blog more often!
    This is good stuff :)
    Loved the reactions bit the most.
    Blogspot is filled with so many of us weirdos, i feel more at home everyday :P

    Toodles!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Lavender :)
    And yes blogspot IS Weird Republic.
    Just read on your profile- you're a journalist eh?

    ReplyDelete
  3. This post is hilarious. And its really witty. Never knew random cold be so funny. Loved it. Am following you now.

    PS: I loved your other blog as well.
    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know what you mean with the napthalene balls. I'd be squashing nail paint up my nose if it were possible. :D

    Internship? woo-hoo!!! I'm still begging around at various offices for mine.

    ReplyDelete
  5. well the smell of nepthaline balls i honestly intoxicating....

    hillarious one...

    p.s was just passing by

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you Somak :)
    Anty: All the best with it, I'm sure you'll get one soon...
    X

    @commited to life: Thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Man I'm having a relationship crisis with blogspotte again how do you keep blogging HOW DO YOU BLOG

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Deewana: I dunno... Maybe I just have a lot of things to say :P
    Try writing...
    You haven't updated in ages. I'm sure there's something you wanna talk about...

    Sandipan: Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  10. Holy shit it's been a while. Got an email notification on the post. How's it going?

    ReplyDelete

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