Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Hugs: work!

One of my favourite things to do, on this day of the year, is watch this movie:

I love it. The story touches on the over commercialization of Christmas, and serves to remind viewers of the true meaning of Christmas, in signature Peanuts' style.
And elsewhere a certain Miss Sinha says:
"From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it. :P"
Would love to see these two, taking on each other. Ahem.

Yes people, hugs really work! (Pssst! thank you Rahul Nair)

"Don't worry, things will fall into place... Just relax." was definitely on top of my "lines that annoy me" list. Definitely, until yesterday.

Things are falling into place...
*For starters I got my hall ticket! YES! xD
Not one hitch, not one problem, no comments by evil HOD, no questions asked. Wow.
* I am not going to be alone tomorrow after all!
Camel sent me this: "any problem if we guys drop in tomorrow?"
(uh well its called an SMS... and sometimes it can make your day!)
* I realised that you guys wont run away 'cause of my constant ranting... thanks tonnes for that! :D
* What's more... a good friend of mine has flown down from erm... the windy city... it'll be super good to catch up with him! lookin' forward :)

Hey... Its almost 9 now...
I'm way happier than I thought I would be. Hope there's coke in the fridge though.

So here's me... sitting... (still) praying for world peace & harmony. Less corruption and more educated politicians, closer home and a piece of George Clooney for me :D
In the tatkal quota, here's praying the best, for all my dost log.

And you, reading this blog, a BIG thank you for the brilliant display of tolerance :)
(I will test it a teeny bit more though)

have you seen an interesting video today? no? hit the link below:

and now....

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Wanted: Hugs.

I think I've got the blues. x(

Before I ring in the new year in style/drunk/at home in shorts, alone; the following things might happen, not leaving me amused:
* i might not get my hall ticket for unexplainable reasons. I mean trustees, donation, and some stupid confusion. You don't want to know. I hate the college I'm "in".
* i might get the hall ticket and flunk all subjects. I mean who am i kidding? I don't even have the text books.
* i might be home alone on Christmas while the rest of my family members shop till they drop in Mumbai. *sighs* I love my pet too much to leave him and go away.
* i might put on so much weight that people mistake me for my mum! aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
* i might HATE my new hairdo AFTER I get it! X(
* i might never learn to shut up!
* you guys might stop reading my blog because all I do here is crib and cry and rant and blogitomise the pessimist. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Dear God,
Give me strength in these troubled times. Help me, as i have no one else to plead to.

While you are at it, please let me find out that Charles Henry Harrod was my great great great great grandfather.
What? Come on God! George Clooney at my door at least

tch tch! i SO need a hug *sniff*
Hey, pillow... C'mere...

Oh! Speaking of blues, i'm leaving you with this:

( rotflol! An Obama supporter that I am, I just cant help but applaud the folks at MAD for coming up with funny stuff ALL the fucking time!)

Monday, December 15, 2008

All done!

first thing: I never imagined my blog in this avtaar... all the same, i love it... Its looking all pretty and Christmas-ey! :)

firster thing: Christmas! less than 10 days to go!

No. I'm not Christian (and while we're at it, I'm not a Mangalorean and NOT from Andhra either.) but there's something about the-last-week-of-december that makes me super happy!

Maybe its all those colours... Maybe all those lights... Presents? umm... Wine? Wine? Wine.
or... is it all the hype? Bingo!
I mean its the one day in the year I see my Dad actually livin' it up! :p
Christmas in as many words i can think of: Here it go!
Marshmallows, candy canes, stockings, Santa! christmas cake, tinsel, christmas trees, chimneys, decorations, baubles, angels, miseltoe, presents, fancy fireplace, happiness, wrapping paper, red+ green+gold, stars, warm woolies, ugg boots, christmas carols, family, turkey and roast potaoes, gravy, christmas pudding and snow...

Pity it doesn't snow here though... :(
Which reminds me, my sister's passport arrived, taking us one step closer to the white, snowy Christmas me and mum keep dreaming of... :D
aah! more dreams and schemes later...

Second thing: Someone pointed out to me recently, that there has been a more-than-subtle change in my newer posts, in terms of content...
She said that reading my blog now feels like reading someone's diary...
(are you kidding me?! i LOVE reading people's diaries! :P by accident of course!)
So I just want to tell her that more old-school posts coming up... Promise. 0:)
But only in January as I have some serious shopping/partying/holidaying to do! :D

Last thing: I was quite sick, the past couple of days. I've even recovered from the horrible back injury... So now I'm done blowing my nose and taking paracetamol for the year. Any alcohol going down my throat, now onwards, will not be in the form of cough syrup.

And now its time for- drumroll, please- My Random Rants!
*My old man couriered home a box of chocolates... again! cute or what? xD awww dad!
* 100 free sms are not enough. How many people am I messaging? Where is all my currency going?! HELLO?! Calls to Ireland: 9.5 bucks a minute! jeez!
*This one occurred to me while watering the plants last night: Cannot believe that ONCE i used to say things like hero pen and homework or shut your gob or ditcher & yeah, this one makes me laugh - geometry box... I mean just 4 years ago "Saturdays" still meant white uniform and Mass PT... Good old days or something they say....
* What is to food as masturbation is to sex? if you know, let me know...
* scooters, vacation, fall...? Imagine a post with tags like that.
Haha. ha. I want hot chicken soup. Now.
*Nancy Meyers should give me littttle credit. Iris from "The Holiday" (2006) is me!
*the not-logged-into-facebook record: 24 hours+
*the bad-hair-day record: 192 hours+

work in progress! come back later...

kindly BEAR WITH ME. :)

Monday, December 8, 2008


/ˈstupɪd, ˈstyu‑/
adj. stu·pid·er, stu·pid·est
1. Lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
2. Characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless.
3. Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes.
4. Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless
5. Informal. a stupid person.
[Latin stupidus, from stupēre, to be stunned.]

I mean... what the hell is wrong with me?!! :'(
No I cant be PMSing!
Just when I thought nothing could go wrong anymore...

See... A few minutes back I appeared online to everybody...
I'd plugged in my camera (which was happily uploading pictures to flickr).
I was chatting with two of my friends on that social networking website...
I had also logged into my blog- writing a new post titled "you know you are going to get dumped when..."
All the while jotting down at least 76 different ideas that were crossing my head in the text document I'd kept open.
Ah yes, I'll also mention Mr. Phil Collins in the background.

and then...

No. not a power cut. The UPS is my sweetheart.

No No. Not even a solar holocaust.

My computer just literally died.
all gone.
and I'm like "hehehe nice joke..."
then I'm like "hehe. ok. enough now... joke's over."

"Please tell me its a joke! somebody!!"
*scream fades into a faint distant nothingness*

Anger replaced every last bit of sadness in me & I realised something else.
*poke poke*
*jab jab JAB*

My PC wasn't restarting either! Not automatically, Not even upon me telling it to!
I was mad as hell!
Unable to think of anything rational, unable to plain and simple "think", I did the stupidest thing ever. (It all happened in the spur of the moment!)
I grabbed a bunch of keys. I grabbed a bunch of heavy keys and CHUCKED them on my monitor.

My awesome TFT monitor is now, jacked for life.

you know what ensued...
a lot of guilt.
"oh shit!"
1 and a half tear(s).
...and this post.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

"a point in the space of four-character strings"


Aren't you just lovin' the weather today?
(ranting from: Bangalore. 4 pm IST and date you can see right on top of the post.)
Its cold as hell. Dark! And very cloudy.
The sun must be holidaying somewhere faaar away from here.
I'm totally loving it.

Ok. Coming back to what I actually came here to tell you guys:

If you haven't smiled in quite a while, I suggest you hit the link below.
More interesting than I thought it'd be; way funnier than Divith.
Take a little help from Wiki if nothing makes sense to you even 2 hours after you've opened that link.
On second thoughts, just assume your sense of humour broke up with you.
Big thank you to Nemil Vora. =)

If you liked it, then tell your friends about it!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

blood is thicker than w(h)ater?

So I was just thinking the other night (how I'm always thinking every night) and a wonderfully horrible thought occurred to me.

Its this hypothetical situation...

Say you're going about your life.... just about happily.... and on one sunny day, you come across this person... You talk... You get along... He/she is fun. You're loving the companionship and laughing more than ever before... You connect with each other... Long conversations and some beautiful moments later you realise you're falling for that person... 'Patience' isn't exactly your favourite word right now... A bundle of nerves that you are, you still muster up courage to tell the person how you feel for him/her (butterflies and jelly legs included) & he/she reciprocates, much to your joy. You are (understandably) on cloud 10.

So you go on dates... dine together... share laughs... and the physical intimacy grows... you fight... you make up...
Then you reach a point when you really want to take care of him/her... You become protective... Damn! You're totally falling in love... A few more years into your relationship and you realise you just need each other, forever...

You know you've found your soulmate...

And then in a dramatic unfolding of events, you find out you're both children to the same mother, separated at birth due to whatever reasons. You are related by blood. You are brother and sister.
And its 100% true.
What now?

No, I'm not a soap opera queen, but well, seriously, this just occurred to me...
and I'm totally clueless.
Just want to know how one would or should react to/handle/go about this 'situation'.

Would you still go ahead and marry that person? Should you?
Or would you forget all that has been happening in the past few years of your life?
If that were even possible, that is.
Would you be able to look at that person in this new light?
Would you still be able to hold on to your sanity?

Leave a reply to tell me what, how and why.
(I thought I'd do a poll... but its too complicated a scenario to put it in a yes-or-no format)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

strawberry fields- here i come!



As on 24th nov., its another year before people head to NLS for a rock fest.

Rosemary won. (!!)

(Strawberry Fields) - (Pentagram) = would have been better.

It rained like nuts on the finale. We still stood ground and didn't scurry.

weeeeeed! \,,/.

Real good music by a couple of bands.

The Times Of India peeps messed up in the main page of today's Bangalore edition calling Chilli Potatoes, "Metal Messaiah"!

There was no use of the passes after all! :(

Monday, November 17, 2008


I was reading the newspaper today...
It seemed to bring back old memories.
I remember very clearly... the last time I had read the paper...
August of 2008
ah... nostalgia...

chain snatching... uncleared garbage... bad roads...
I stifled a yawn and continued scanning the page lazily. Somewhere on page 4, the caricature of Albert Einstein that they'd thrown in, caught my attention. I started reading.

3 hours later . . .

Same page. Same article. With a pen in my hand.
I was breaking my head over a "mind boggling" question that the man had designed as a brain exercise for kids in a US school. Apparently 98% of the world's population couldn't solve this puzzle.
take a dekko:

There are five houses of five different colours.
One person from one specific nationality lives in each house.
Each person likes a specific kind of drink and cigarette. Each has one pet.
None of them owns the same pet, smokes the same cigarette or drinks the same drink.
Question: "Who owns the fish?"
Hints: The English person lives in the red house. The Swede has a dog. The Danish likes tea. The green house is located right to the left of the white house. The person who lives in the green house likes to drink coffee. The person who smokes Pall Mall has a bird. The person who lives in the middle house likes to drink milk. The person who lives in the yellow house smokes Dunhill. The Norwegian lives in the first house. The person who smokes Marlboro lives next to the person who owns a cat. The person who has a horse lives next to the person who smokes Dunhill. The person who smokes Winfield, likes to drink beer. Right next to the blue house lives the Norwegian. The German smokes Rothmans. The person who smokes Marlboro is the neighbour of the person who drinks water.

I tried to work it out.
Still trying.
If the Swede smokes Marlboro who owns the freakin' cat?!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

i am currently lusting over...*

Curtis Stone.
I mean how perfect is he?
ok listen:
He's Aussie. ;)
Tall, blonde. Green eyed. (!!)
He cooks (and how!)
He has a voice that'll make any woman weak in the knees.
Celebrity chef. Also owns the most dazzling smile ever.
Top runner of "Sexiest Man Alive" poll by People magazine.
& Oh. My. God. Have you seen any pictures of him in a tux?!

*runs out of saliva*

*to all the boys reading this post:
"i'm really sorry that there was nothing for you here."
to the girls:
"if you think there's someone out there, even better than Curtis, leave a comment!" ;)
to aneesha:
"ty!" :P

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

of a book and some more books.

Yes. This is the book I'm absolutely dying to read.
Will not say much here.
Just, I have a bizarre feeling that this is the story of a guy I only know too well.
It maybe, may not be...
Well... can't wait to get my hands on this one.
a big thank you to Clever Girl and her shelfari! =)

I also want to read:
Tart (Red Dress Ink Novels) by Jody Gehrman.
Shantaram by GregoryDavid Roberts.
The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga.
and one piece each by Ruskin Bond and John Keats.

Hmmm, that's it for now...

and there's no way i can let you go without telling you about. . . . .
Marley and Me.
"life and love with the world's worst dog"
eeeeeeee!!! xD
Its by John Grogan and is the cutest looking book I've seen in a while!

Big thanks to total sweetheart Sam, or I'd still be thinking its just another Hollywood flick...
(Jen Aniston+Owen Wilson, btw... <3)

just when am I going to Landmark next?!
*scratches head and checks wallet.*

Update: ART VANDELAY asked me for my email id, shortly after we got acquainted with each other... I gave it to him thinking "orkut..." & had been busy for the next couple of days... When I checked my mail the day after, I was pleasantly surprised! He had sent me the e-book of the "I Hope They Serve..."
Sweet or what!?

Monday, November 10, 2008

a bitter sweet symphony

I had totally hit the dead end of my "how do i sneak out tonight?" brainstorm session.
( try keeping your ass at home on a Saturday night.) ( it'll hurt!)
So I had to settle for the consolation prize; somehow, the idea of hot wax being slapped on and then being peeled away using strips of things that makes a lot of noise, for a neater pair of arms and legs, made me feel good. =)
I grabbed my wallet and went straight to Geeta aunty's parlour. The door opened to the same faces that smiled at me each time I visited. Only today it was super-crowded!
I wasn't exactly spoilt for choice so I collapsed on one of those dead bean bags she had, crammed in there. The magazines were all taken. I started messaging friends.

This amusement park was advertising on radio. Their jingle faded into nothing, without garnering much attention... and then:
ok bengaluru, we are celebrating the lovebirds week!
excuse me? o_O
we're giving you a chance to go on air and bolo your dil ki baat...
thats right, dedicate songs to your loved one and win hampers!
and then she said the corniest thing:
seems like all this week, love is in the 'air'... lalala!
*not amused.* *at all.*
then the dedications started coming... and how!
she read her playlist; i was nauseous.
telling myself that this still is better than sitting at home, I waited...

and the radio sang...
I wanna call the stars, down from the sky
I wanna live a day, that never dies
I wanna change the world only for you
All the impossible I wanna do...

I just thought about this Harsh who had "dedicated" this particular song to his girlfriend. And of his girlfriend who must have been blushing to death right then.
tch-tch. Some more time into the relationship, he would hardly even call her to tell her what he did all day.
Stars and all? You wish.
The only day he'd wish would never die'd be when he's making wild passionate love to her.
and umm... change the world only for her? SURE.
Someday she'll be ranting about office politics and how she hates it and how it needs to change and... He'll probably go "you cannot do anything about it. just forget it."
oh and the classic-
"Sweetheart, can you come and meet me after work?"
"hey.. sorry.. that's a bit impossible."

...and the radio sang...
I wanna hold you close under the rain
I wanna kiss your smile and feel the pain
I know what's beautiful looking at you
In a world of lies you are the truth...

Yeah, the first thing he would probably do when it rains, is run for cover, forgetting even to pull her along. Let alone stand in the rain, hugging her.
"i know what's beautiful looking at you..." Yeah- That's why he'd not even have complimented her in weeks and maybe even secretly thought that the girl at that billing counter is so fuckin pretty! truth in the world of lies eh? we know that 'traffic jams' may not always mean 'traffic jams', as is the case with "i have a bad headache today, sorry."

And baby... Everytime you touch me I become a hero...
I sat there. angry, frustrated, thinking about these words.
okay so we're to believe that she walks in and his mask comes on & cape bursts out and he can suddenly fly and move mountains. All this and he wont even pick her up for lunch.
"Hero" did he say?

Hey Harsh... Lets picture this: You've had a fuckin' tiring day, and your girl's vehicle has been towed away to the other end of town. She's calling, expecting you to go there and help her out.
Isn't this exactly the time when you wish you'd never told her crap like:
I'll make you safe no matter where you are...
And bring you everything you ask for...
Nothing is above me...
I mean you can just tell her you have an important meeting. And c'mon, she'll get out of it anyway! makes sense, don't it?

I'm shining like a candle in the dark.... When you tell me that you love me...
Some drunken, wannabe Shakespeare must have written these lines sitting in a gay pub, and our man is dedicating them to woo his chick (probably not even meaning some/most of it). You know what the best bit is? She's totally falling for it. lol!
cute... down right pathetic, but well... cute.

See. I'm not saying that dedicating a song to your loved one is wrong- not even hinting.
(because I'm all for mushy :P)
Or that this guy doesn't know what love is/how to take care of his relationship/ how to make it last or anything on those lines.
What I'm saying is that on one of those days, nothing seems convince you, or said another way, on a day when you aren't feeling so lovey-dovey, these "all i need in life is your love" sort of lyrics get down right irritating.

My phone beeped again:
"hey.. wassa.. where are you?"
me: "nun much.. bored.. not far from home .. why?"
him: "I'm in polar bear... near your house."
me: "whoa... how come??"

the radio pressed on...
I wanna make you see just what I was
Show you the loneliness and what it does
You walked into my life To stop my tears
Everything is easy now, I have you here...

me: (giving up) "I'm coming. see you in 5 dude."

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Right now, if I were a picture, I'd be this one. This is kinda how I've been feeling lately.

I'm yet to come to terms with the fact that I'm going to graduate a year after my "normal" batchmates will D:
I'm yet to come to terms with the fact that my parents fully understand the same.
tch tch...
I'm putting on weight, by the way. (shit!)
Pimples. (bitches! they're getting redder and redder!)
plus these random things* in my head. (unavoidable.)
my dog's not doing very well :'(
I am broke.
*going nuts*

OK what I'm really trying to say is: "I haven't been spending enough time at my desk, writing. So will not be posting a lot, this October."

Right now I'm flirting with the idea of cutting my hair really short/ get my nose pierced/ both.
but then I'll have to convince my college staff to believe that I'm the same species as them so, dunno.
and hey the "festival of lights" is coming up & so is a major family do & so are lots of college fests.
hopefully that will cheer me up.
Here's praying that the pictures will be more cheerful, November on...

random things*
gotta find reasons to justify my erratic behaviour these days.
been ages since i went to fanoo's. *drools*
thu! thu! thoooooooooo! year back!!!
'jaane kyu... dil jaanta hai.. tuh hai toh i'll be alright'

i should go & enrol with a theater group. really.
technically i'm a first year. does that allow me to take part in Maitri-08? o_O
i wasted three bucks to send an SMS for the mtv tickr! it didn't even appear on TV! grr!
yellow is the colour of the season! need those yellow ballerina shoes! XD

raj thackeray in jail! wow! :D
its bleeding impossible to make clockwise circles with my right foot and make the number "6" with my right hand at the same time!! >.<

Yeah, by the way, "stressed" rhymes with "fest". Hence the title. :P
I'll catch you guys soon! :)

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

this world we're living in...

Its another of those Tuesday mornings. I'm bunking class (yet again) and browsing the web (nothing on TV, zero currency on phone.)
The following, I just read on some site & thought would make an interesting read:

A Worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
Here's what was aked:
'Please give your honest opinion about solutions concerning the food shortage in the rest of the world.'

The survey was a huge failure.

In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant.
In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant.
In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant.
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

confessions of a really stupid girl.

So I typed it out "I just wanted to say that I have an itsy-bitsy crush on you..." deleted it all... typed out a whole big funny explanation... saved it in drafts... "naah"... deleted it all again and wrote it out in as few words i could.
Jesus Christ! I couldn't be doing this! was I doing this?! I mean should I? shouldn't I? damn.. but he's a pal... he'd understand.. I'm sure he had been there, done that too... and besides i wasn't saying "i wanna grow old with you" or something. Imagine me saying that to any guy at this point in life-
no really, I'm not a retard.
Yeah so, telling a guy that you got the hots for him is no big deal right?
'cause he was already seeing this chick.
horribly, this occurred to me after i sent the message.
"what was i thinking? OK that was stupid! totally dumb. evil. and definitely not required!"
I only prayed to god that he'd laugh it off. and I'd be more than glad to do precisely that.

But the reply that came, almost killed me. He said his friends had his phone, and now they were all rolling on the floor laughing.
First thought: oh fuck. get a plastic surgery. leave town. assume another identity and always remain, mysteriously, tragically silent about my past.
Second thought: well, at least they were laughing.

Awkward moment; definitely awkward. how could I possibly get out of this alive & not embarrassed? I just acted like it was no big deal. He was sweet enough to understand. So a few messages later, I cleverly steered the conversation to another, and hopefully a more interesting topic.

Eversince, I've been feeling horrible. Well, not because of what happened but more because of whats happening as a result. Get it? Or should I say more because of whats not happening as a result?
I mean he hasn't messaged me after that! x(
Maybe it is that. Or maybe I'm just
over reacting...
So I'm here... at the confession box - Hopefully after this is out on the world wide web, I'll feel better.
Well, in my defence (if that is needed) for me, it still is no big deal. Anyone would guess that I've said wayyyyy crazier things to a guy. What I told him was very by the way... very sweet.. even an almost instinctive thing to do. Aneesha didn't agree. She kept giving me looks.
I had no answer.
I was just sitting there... guilty... but still giggling my head off... lost in thoughts...
I hope that the cute equation I share with him doesnt change. Ouch, that would hurt.
I hope I find a nice guy to go on a few dates with soon (only so that all this gets erased off his mind)!

My work here is done. :P
And I'm pretty sure that the moment he reads this, he'll shake his head at me being such a kid and message me:
"my god! thinking so much about it uh? chill re!"

Friday, September 5, 2008

random thoughts... no, really.

i wish i was two inches taller.
i wish i had wings.
i wish i was really good at studies.
-big deal if i hang out with 7 boys all the time!!
still, i wish i was a boy. *sighs*
i wish i could find that purple nail polish again!
i wish my HOD gets thrown into jail. i cant stand the sight of that twisted, evil bastard.
i wish i could speak French... :)
i wish there was no such thing as "attendance" :(
i wish i had more money.
i wish i had even more money!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

au revoir...

It hasn't rained this heavily in a long time.
My phone is switched off. Battery low.
I'm just lying here, numb.
Mom has asked me that question thrice over.
I haven't said anything.
I'm listening to "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls.
And tonight i just cannot hold off these tears.

The same movie is playing in my head, yet again....
first time I saw you... your "spider legs" handwriting... how I couldn't stop gushing about you to my sister... the first time I called you up... that white shirt of yours... how I used to draw your zoology diagrams... our first kiss... college fest... a thousand other college fests... elephant jokes... the fourth floor... "the blue bullshit"... pulse 2006... chemistry department disaster... the things you told me after graduation day... corner house ice creams... 11th of may last year... your favourite snooker shot... B11... that highway accident.. the first time I cried for you.. all the times you made me laugh.. that poem you wrote for me...

I remember everything...

A year and a half ago, life "couldn't have been better".
but, I didn't know that you were gonna take my life and wreck it-
and wreck it so bad that I'd never be able put it back together again.
You broke my heart and now I'm dying.
Thanks for making me one pathetic, weeping mess.
It's painful you know, to put on a stupid fucking happy face and walk around, when all you want to do is sit down & cry. Hoping someone would understand.
Hoping someone would go "its ok..."
I cannot tell you what I'm going through. I cannot tell anyone.
"I promise. We'll be friends... Forever."
Fuck. My. Life.

As of now, I have no clue where my life is going. I'm in the worst of situations. I'm helpless.
I don't know what will happen over the next five years.
Hopefully someone will put a band aid over my broken heart.
Hopefully you will.

You know, I just wish that I could wake up and realise this is all just a bad dream.
I hate what you've done to me.
I hate the fact that I let you do what you've done to me.
I hate the fact that deep down, I still hope you will change & come running right back to me.

And now, you're leaving huh...?
I cannot tell you how sad i am.
Because, I'm not.
Have fun.

As for these tears, they are gonna keep coming...

...for a lifetime, at the least.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

24 hours ago...

i did not think I was gonna have the worst body ache of my life.
i did not imagine I'd have 34 bleeding cuts on my body.
it did not seem possible for drunk people to be climbing the hugest hills of Ramnagar.
i did not really believe that sometimes, some people are destined to meet each other.
.....or that an ordinary Indian three wheeler can accommodate 16 ppl & still move!
and 24 hours ago i definitely did not think that i was going to go out there n live the maddest day of my life.

And all it took for me to get up today morning n say "pinch me!" was cameras, camcorders, a lot of booze, and my best friends... (oh by the way, they're all gonna be famous soon n guess who'll have all 7 autographs? :P)
Each minute, each laugh out loud moment, each revelation & every photograph taken on 23rd august 2008, from 9 am to 9 pm, will be very close to my heart, forever.

If this post is making any sense to you, you were there with me.
If you weren't there with us, then i don't expect you to understand anything.

Guys, here's to the many more CRAZY outings yet to come.

Friday, August 22, 2008

life eeje hard.

Its one of those times when you wanna pull your hair out in frustration. I'm sure you'll agree stuff like this happens to a lot of us, a lot of times.

Say you are walking your dog. and then you catch this good looking guy or girl looking down the apartment window n right at you. You're just about to fly without wings when your dog starts revolving in crazy little circles n poops! a lot! right then n there! damn!
& next thing you know, there's no face behind that window anymore... :(

Pissing off isn't it? that whenever you trip & fall down embarrassingly, there are always some people looking!
(and psst! where are these people when I'm sashaying around in my 4 inch stilettos, as if I was born on heels!)

Ladies, isn't it funny that you're boyfriend decides he wants to meet you on the exact same day you were thinking "man! I gotta go get my arms waxed"!

Remember one super rare occasion when you did manage to get to class, and the teacher just didnt take attendance? remember you going "what the fuck!!"?
the funny bit is, each time you miss class due to reasons however genuine, they just do not forget the "shh! answer your attendance now" drill.

Why is it that when you've just had a painful break up, you're family members decide its time to go out for some quality time!! i mean at that moment all you want is your space! and come on, all these years they hardly noticed you ricocheting off the walls due to hyper enthusiasm at the thought of an "impromptu family get together" or that "weekend getaway to coorg"!

Whew... and the last straw is when you have been waiting for an extra special day - say someone's birthday, a long overdue reunion, a special photo shoot, a special anniversary first day of work- anything, and on the d-day this huge, ugly, zit shows up right in the middle of your face! don't you just feel like "where were you all these days bitch?? why today??"
What's worse, it makes no effort to get overshadowed by strands of hair or concealer or even that striking shade of lipstick!

well... what are you gonna do?
just gotta face it sometimes.
life, after all, is hard!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I love:

Google doodles!
writing with my left hand.
end of season sale, anywhere.
"Showtime presents DEXTER" \m/
catching a movie first day first show.
baby animals- my heart melts!
sitting under "the tree" with my best friends.
the colour purple.
eating complan. straight out of the packet! yum!
happy endings.
this song called "Punjab" by Karunesh.
pon and zi (by azuzephre)
Bangalore city.
getting a new haircut! :D
remembering the past and wishing i could find life's "rewind button".
sweet nothings.
Alliance Francaise, Bangalore :) :)
Calvin and Hobbes :')
smell of freshly cut capsicum.
Om beach, Gokarna.
kal ho na ho.
collecting small, random, shiny, weird things.
eating pani puri when its raining.
getting tickled.
corner house ice creams!
talking on the phone.
talking, period. i cannot shut up for nuts!
playing cupid.
warli art
sounds of superbikes revving
babies (that cant walk or talk).
Pav bhaji, chole bhature, butter chicken- the real Punjabi deal.
geeks <3
dark, chilly, misty mornings.

and... each second of the life I'm living life (mishaps and all).

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

the awakening...

Again i had dozed off while on the phone. Again it had rained all night. And again the alarm had gone off at 6.30... I did NOT want to get up but thinking of that corset I'd be wearin if I were thinner, I got up and was trudging away.
After a couple of hundred meters, I was still drowsy. I was in no mood to jog, so instead of just sitting there n turning into a fossil or something I bought a copy of the Sunday Times from corner manju's store. I reached the park facing the apartment I used to live before in and grabbed a bench... Right at the end, i saw Pinto uncle. A lot of other people had gathered. it must have been the residents' monthly meeting.
An explosion of articles+photographs+tributes+Jai Hinds told me it was Independence day ka eve. The street just off the park got a little noisy. I saw a bunch of people setting up what looked like makeshift classroom. Probably some NGO activity. Nice.
I continued reading all the glorified stuff that was written in the paper and random thoughts started crossing my mind... "when i die, will more than 50 people even know ?"
The sun was in no mood to get out. It still felt like six thirty, an hour later.
Then two girls walked past me, wearing 'Teach India' sweatshirts.
And then, it happened. As i sat there, I had realised something. I couldn't believe it had taken me that long! I sat up. Suddenly all else was erased from my mind! I wasn't just going to sit there anymore. I got up, took a nice deep breath. Two seconds later i was on my feet ready to jog. well, I had to start somewhere.
Was this my wake up call? i was finally getting over trivial things like shopping n clubbing to have look at "the bigger picture"? Did the need to be a little more than just "apeksha rao" get the better of me?


I had spotted an extremely good looking hunk in the park. He had just started jogging.
and WOW! White was his colour!

the new beginning which totally sucked!

And so, without having any idea of what i was signing up for, i had done it. felt like a hundred signatures; across my photographs and all. a couple of hours more of waiting in that very dead looking office and - voila! it was official.
i admit, it did feel nice telling people "electronics n communication.. first sem"
but for the rest of the freshers at ambedkar institute of technology, nearly 1 month of classes were over...

question: how was I ever gonna catch up? & find people like me and have a blast? ummm...

DAY 1: I'm pretty sure i must've screamed wen i entered "my classroom". ( it wasn't one.) i was also pretty sure no one noticed me walking into it n sitting down. wow.

the boys were very very quiet compared to their jain college or VIPS or anywhere else's counterparts... sigh! i mean "hello?? wake up people!"
and the girls were going on n on about "internals" and "gaalipata" n "uniform measurement" n things tat dint quite make sense to me.
the answer to question above: NEVVVVER!
and slowly, disappointment replaced each bit of enthusiasm in me. what followed was a series of lectures where ppl dint even attempt to defy the "maintain silently in the class i say" dialogues (check out the molestation of english here), some terrible lunches, and some of the most boring days of my life.

that weekend i was sadder than ever. I was sitting alone in purple haze, handcuffed, and my glass of whisky had fallen dramatically off the table. it was getting a little difficult breathe. i had a few electronics n calculus books in front of me. and then i saw the gaalipata girls from class, drinking tender coconut at a far end. "huh what the fuck??" and then i saw them. two people were coming towards me with something in their hands. it was a book. and it was blue.
and bang in the middle was written in red ink "0/25" - thrice over! next thing i knew they were dragging me away to some village... my cell phone slipped out of my pocket. i couldn't grab it! it was gone! my friends from school n college were sitting in the most comfortable couches n i was being taken away!
i was losing my mind. i saw a milestone. "JP club ----- 2 rms away." it said. it was now or never. with all the strength inside me, i tried to break free.

i felt a jolt!

uh-uh! no, i did not fall off the bed. ( 'cause that would be way too cliche, wudnnit? :P)
With cold, trembling hands i reached for my phone somewhere under my pillow n realised it was just 5 in the morning. thanking the heavens above, i went back to a couple of hours more of sleep.

And in any case, i had to go & live this nightmare again, starting 9 am.
Saturday was far, far away.