Thursday, January 14, 2010

Horror Show (Vol. 1)

You know your weekend will jump straight into a pool of shit when:

You decide your second date with a Brazilian dude should be at a nightclub.
Tequila's on the house.
You
don't have to drive back.
This guy you randomly made out with sometime back
, knows your date. (!)
Tequila's on the house.
You're drinking like the world's ending in 1.46 minutes.
You're high and deny it.
Your date starts looking like a hazy blur.
On your way to the loo you trip and fall.
Tequila's on the house.
On your way to the parking lot, you trip, roll down an entire flight of stairs.
You puke in the backseat of his friend's shiny new Merc.
You puke some more. Where? You don't even remember.
You're passed out right through the drive home;
marinating for an hour, in your vomit.
Once the car stops, you stumble out, fall flat and scrape your knees.
Your friends put you to sleep and clean your wounds with whiskey.

And... And. AND:

Your friends tell you that while you were passed out, they caught you
snoring.

*heart fucking attack*
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
There are moments in life when sheer embarrassment renders you incapable of normal speech and makes you want to head to a town
where nobody knows you so you can adopt a couple of puppies and grow old in absolute anonymity.
This was one such.

Rot in hell, tequila, you motherfucking bitch!
Die!

Image courtesy: Photoshy's photostream @ FlickR.

22 comments:

  1. The definition of awesome, this is.

    *jealousies*

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  2. The lipogram boy is back people!
    Thanks for the awesome-est comment ever :P
    *blushes*
    How've you been?
    And why is your blog all chup-chup?

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  3. man I've been suffering from a heavy, heavy dose of lazynesia. and then I wake up totally clueless and suddenly BAM it's 2010 and I had a blog!

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  4. Haha... I hear you alright...
    Guess it happens...
    But why are you "suffering" from lazynesia..? I'd enjoy every minute if I were you... :P
    I like being lazy... Bliss.
    Speaking of 2010- happy new year :)
    Resolutions? Hmm?
    Do mention the expiry date :P

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  5. Uhh, umm, err...

    This is like planet A.W.E.S.O.M.E.

    Where did you even find a Brazilian guy?

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  6. Aww :')
    *takes a bow*
    It's funny. I didn't even have to find him.
    A friend of mine just "got him along" to this after party we were going to...
    We hit it off instantly and the rest, as they say, is mystery :P

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  7. If you don't remember, it didn't happen. If you do, it was obviously too epic to forget :-P


    Kinda random, I know.
    Love your blog!

    Xx,
    T

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  8. Hahaa! Well said T! ;)
    And I'm glad you like my blog :D
    Cheers :D

    Xx

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  9. this is vol.1.... how scary is vol.2?

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  10. oooh really scary.. I'm shivering just thinking of vol2 :P

    I bet all that tequila did some good to you ;) and brazilian dudes? eh?

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  11. btw, that spider at the end of the blog.. its creepy :|

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  12. Does this Brazilian guy have a sister? I just got some new shot glasses i wanna try out. 0_o

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  13. I've had same experience.. but not wid a brazilian dude.. lol after that i switched over to beer and nothing else. ;)

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  14. Hey smitzy! You're back :D Nice to see you again...
    Lets not talk about tequila anymore :|
    And Euclid? You find him creepy? Aww the poor thing couldn't hurt a fly :P

    Eshan: Psst- he DOES have a sister btw ;)


    Akshay: Beer it is then... Cheers :D

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  15. I came here seeing your pretty pic but your blog is happening....you do write well

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  16. Hahaa thanks Pesto :)
    So the picture trap works! :P

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  17. Hmm.. you SERIOUS you experienced it all yourself??
    If the answer is YES, then TAKE A BOW!!!

    Irrespective of what the answer is, compliments for having the ability of expressing yourself so very clearly.. I wish I had it too!

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  18. Now is this a horrific post. I have to hand it to you for remembering all that. I'm a lousy drinker actually. :(
    Anyhow, I'm yet to try tequila, and after reading your post, well, its like a free invite.
    Tequila and drunk madness, here I come...
    Hmm, now I only need to find some Brazilian chicks. Any suggestions?

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  19. Well I'm no Brazilian chick search engine but good luck finding one ;)
    Hahaha!
    And cheers to the tequila drinking bit :)

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    ReplyDelete

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