Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Wanted: Internship!

Waaaaaah! x'(
Waaaaaaaaaaaah!! x'(

Dear Santa,
I've been a good girl:
a) I got drunk a lot
b) I did not chew up anyone's furniture, and
c) scammed my daddy for Rs. 1000 only twice
Then why-oh-why didn't I get what I asked for? I made, but, one simple request.
One. Simple. Request.
And you- of all the people- know this is something I wanted with all my heart:

*Spongebob Squarepants socks*
I mean, seriously, was that too much to ask for?
You've let me down Santa... *sniff* No, you've really let me down :'(
Well, anyway...
Until next year when I'll want favours from you,

Suck it, bitch!

* * *

You know you're headed for intellectual doom when:
You know every song on Vh1's Top 5 Party Songs of 2009 (with complete lyrics)

* * *

By the way, all these "salesmen"? You know... The ones that go door-to-door trying to sell you funny stuff?
Who buys from them? Ever?
Forget buying- have you ever observed people even open the door more than 3.4 inches for a salesman?
...So there's him dying to sell you (in screwed up English) his Set of 6 Cook-Books @ 50% off or that "electric bat that swats mosquitoes" which he swears you'll never-ever find in any showroom.
And there's us, trying to force the door shut saying "illa illa... beda..." taking care that his nose doesn't get squashed in the process.
Entertaining eh?
I'm thinking ke bhaiyya, paapi pet ka sawal hai...

* * *
What's been up eh?

-First year is almost over. I have to step into the "real world" and find an internship.
Reminds me of those scenes in Bollywood movies:

... a young lad of 22-23 (sole support of an ailing mother and blind sister) stands all day in queues outside those tall buildings hoping to get a job; he's just about reached the front of the line and a funny looking man (fully conscious of cameras around) enters and slaps the "NO VACANCY" sign on the front doors. The sun scorches on mercilessly, as a drop of sweat trickles down the hero's forehead...

HAHA! Just a thought!
So yeah.. "Internship". Top bug of 2010.

-I'm thinking of giving Wordpress a shot. I've heard its pretty cool.
But... I'm so afraid that it will do to this blog, what Facebook did to my Orkut usage, that I refuse to think about the idea and call myself a retard thrice a day to have thought such a thing.

-College is bustling full-speed-ahead (or not) : We had to write a jingle for a "hair restoring gel" today. Ahem.
My jingle sucked komodo-dragon balls.

-I think the lady next door knows that I smoke! I was smelling like an ash-tray and got stuck in the lift with her; she covered her face with her saree ka pallu and made retching actions. The asshole.

-Joke of the day:
Q: How is Santa Claus different from Tiger Woods?
A: Santa stops at 3 Ho's.

-I'm seeing someone! :D
Yup. An artist pretending to be an automobile engineer. He's obsessed with music and we smoke pot together. Haha!

* * *

The year so far?
Runny nose, pending projects, unfinished poems, and a leaky faucet.


  1. I think I love you.

    As for the top 5 party songs, we all know them :D

    Best of luck for the internship and the socks. :)

  2. had to write a jingle for hair gel.. what do you study in college?

    good luck with the relationship... hope you like the guy more than the pot

  3. It's a mutual admiration society for sure then ;)
    But yeah... I think the songs I talk about, are really dumb, then what the hell am I doing listening to them anyway??
    I mean
    "I know you want me...
    you know I wantcha...." x1,22,34
    Are you kidding me?!!
    Sigh... I need to stop going to nightclubs.

    Aaaaand thank you, I need all the luck :)

    Rahul! You're back :) Hmmm... Jingles- fall under creative writing; which is part of this paper called "Communication", hence part of "Mass Media". I also take Psychology and World Literature.
    So yeah, got my plate full ;)
    And thanks... He smells way better than weed :P haha...

    P.S. Feeling a bit verbose today.

  4. awww!! lol artist pretendin to be an auto engineer:P:P

  5. First time here and I have to say this
    I LOVE your blog
    the nonsense, the random-ness all of it! :)

  6. if your looking for internships then visit http://www.10internship.in or http://www.letmeknow.in

    Anyway what kind of internship are u looking at?

  7. Lavender: You made my day woman! Thanks :)
    And Akshay: Thanks for the help.
    I was looking for something in New Media. But I've found myself one, so no tension.... :)

  8. jesus you have a sense of humor! i dunno how i stumbled here but you make oodles of sense and laughter!
    love love love your writing. you sure will go to heaven babe. or wherever it is you're headed :P

  9. oh n if youre still looking for an internship, you might wanna try your hand at corp comm... i could put in a word for you. just promise me you'll write a brochure as funny!

  10. @Piyu: Wow am I glad you came across my page or what? Thanks a ton for the awesome comments :D

    P.S. Corporate Communication??
    I think I love you.
    That's exactly what I've taken up!
    Do let me know about this internship :)

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