Things I meant to say

...but couldn't quite:

• You there, creepy Twitter follower. Will you climb out of my ass? And stop being the ONLY person favourite-ing every damned tweet. Gaaaah! #sheriffonspeeddial Also whats up with all these bots.

• Hallo, random Indian man on street. Your instinctive+unsupressable itch to offer parking advice to a car pulling over, with a woman behind wheel - yeah, fucking KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS. And fuck you. Twice.

• I like to talk lyk dis now. Finger -snap and everything. I love it. Listen! You also talk lyk dis and tell me you nah lyk ih.

• I can't keep in touch for nuts. But I love you guys. Honestly. 

That's all for now.

PS: The magazine that every stylish dog should read

#gottaloveDoge