Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Things I meant to say

...but couldn't quite:
  • You there, creepy Twitter follower. Will you climb out of my ass? And stop being the ONLY person favourite-ing every damned tweet. Gaaaah! #sheriffonspeeddial Also whats up with all these bots.
  • Hallo, random Indian man on street. Your instinctive+unsupressable itch to offer parking advice to a car pulling over, with a woman behind wheel - yeah, fucking KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS. And fuck you. Twice.
  • I like to talk lyk dis now. Finger -snap and everything. I love it. Listen! You also talk lyk dis and tell me you nah lyk ih.
  • I can't keep in touch for nuts. But I love you guys. Honestly. 
That's all for now.
PS: The magazine that every stylish dog should read


  1. "who will finally resolve his burning inner Oedipal conflict."
    Hahahahahahaha. Too good.

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