Wednesday, December 16, 2009

News flash

Clueless, the 20 year old bundle of useless talent and a shining star of the Poor-Jokes world is on the brink of death. Stressful college activities are reported to have pushed her to the edge, though experts suggest it could be due to nicotine or alcohol overdose or both.

Last heard, clueless's "Project hot-bod for Christmas & New Year" had taken off with a bang only to crash-landed on day 3 due to her enlightenment about class tests from 17th of this month through 19th.
She is reported to have cried inconsolably at the failed mission. Though top sources tell us that she is secretly overjoyed at the thought of lazing in bed for "a few more precious hours" every morning.
We do not know whom to believe.


We're interrupting this broadcast to get you I-swear-I-dont-know-what.
Oh. Ooops. Sorry.
What you're going to hear now is the voice of
clueless. We've managed to establish telephone contact with her:

"Hey there readers... *cough* These assholes have already told you everything that has to be told... Just that I really miss posting here... but I am busy and almost dead *cough cough* Will post soon... I also have a few announcements to make when I return... Ahem. Love you guys. Thanks for the patience. *gasp* Nurse!! Water! WATER! Aaaa... ... ..."

Welcome back. Fresh reports coming in about... er... Christmas decorations for her blog and a "poll" if I'm not mistaken. Yes. They're going to be up shortly . Polls, we hear, were a popular feature of her blog back in 2008.

We do not have any footage to show you; no File photos of her "in happier times" either.
We don't know what else to say.
We're experiencing technical glitches.
(That always works.)

8 comments:

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  2. Myth: Consuming Rum when you have an awful cold will help you.
    Truth: It actually does ;)

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  3. fuck this it too funny!!cant wait for the polls btw

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  4. Acne Warrior: ??!

    Doofus: haha... thanks but... i've been consuming (almost overdosing on) rum but the cold wont budge. :'( any more ideas?

    thanks, blue periwinkle :)

    T :P

    G :P :P

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  5. Hahaha this one really got me laughing!
    I like how u've put something this ordinary, in the form of a news report :)

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  6. Thanks a bunch! Glad you liked it :D

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