I think I just fell in love with Marlon Brando

Yes, it's true. I'm not saying anything more. I may just wet myself.

* * *

It has come to my attention (and stayed there long enough so writing this post was possible) that:
Almost everyone on facebook has an album called "random". Even boys.
So bleeding gay. That's not even it. There are gay-er variants:
randoms, random clix and randomzzzz: Uggh! Get a thesaurus fuckers.
And this is the worst:
"R@|\||)OM!!!"
Thhu!
Similarly, almost every girl on blogspot has written a post about a boy who's left her heart broken and scarred for life and how as a result of that she is drowned in sorrow and cannot eat/sleep/fart like before and how she wishes she'd never ever met him in the first place.
Guilty as charged.
I think it's a phase thing. Ah well.
Talking about phases, remember "the phase" when you wanted to cut your hair short and wear black eye make up and get tattoos and body piercings everywhere to rebel against society's ridiculous norms? Wait, that's not a phase- that's just gay. Mpfft hahahaha! I should totally be a stand up comedian. I'll just kill people with my jokes... Wow!
Eeeks. Nothing. Ignore me. I'm a retard.


Me: More facebook bashing, who's game?
From inside my monitor: *roars, thunderous clapping and wolf-whistles*
Me: Ok let's go!

#1 So this bitch of an application tags me in random photos.
"Who's been viewing your profile the most this week?"
Wtf?! I haven't once visited this person's sorry excuse of a profile full of Farmville news.
So shove it. I'm untagging.
But, well, that's not to be:
I hit remove tag and instead of removing the picture right away,
"A validation error occurred" apparently.
Er? I don't think you heard me. REMOVE TAG.
"A validation error occurred".
REMOVE TAG, bitch!
"A validation error occurred".
Aaaaaaaagh! Irritating. I have NOT "visited XYZ's profile 66 times this week". What the fuck.
20 minutes of brainstorming and I decided to report abuse.
Problem solved. Case closed. The photo doesnt show on my profile anymore.
Master stroke eh?
Well :D

#2 IPL-related status messages :|
Yeah. Ok. We all watch the matches and we all read the papers. Stop flooding my homepage with updates of who won and how "superbly" they won. Stop telling me how you almost "died of tension" and how unbelievable that 108 m sixer was. AND STOP DOING IT EVERYDAY.
*nauseous*

#3 The chat widget: Do we even need to discuss this? :|


* * *

Dear God,

My heart is broken and I'm scarred for life and as a result of that I'm drowned in sorrow and cannot eat/sleep/fart like before and I wish...
Wait. Shit! Didn't I already use that for the heartbroken blogger chicks' bit?
Hmm. Lets start over.

Dear God,

There was a time when I was not gay. I used to drink like a fish and remain perfectly stable all night. I used to chug down white rum- neat. I used to drink three Long Island Iced Teas and ride back home safely. I used to smoke weed and have a good trip. I used to laugh like a mad girl and slowly calm down.
But these days- one, ONE, joint and I hit rock bottom. I fall quiet and all I see are alphabets and symbols. My mouth stops working. I cannot move and stay rooted to the spot. I feel like I'll die if I don't sleep that minute. I fucking pass out before 2 am.
By the time I wake up, the party is over, the sun is shining and all my friends are leaving.
It's happened twice already.
No more! No more!
Is this how men with serious ED feel?
I completely sympathise with them.
:'(
I want my capacity back.
Please. Help me. :'(


* * *

LAMB OF GOD will be in town in less than a month.
W00t!
I. Cannot. Wait.



*bows down low*

* * *

Come back next time to read about "a date gone horribly" wrong and other stories.
Be good, leave comments.
Bye! :)

News flash

Clueless, the 20 year old bundle of useless talent and a shining star of the Poor-Jokes world is on the brink of death. Stressful college activities are reported to have pushed her to the edge, though experts suggest it could be due to nicotine or alcohol overdose or both.

Last heard, clueless's "Project hot-bod for Christmas & New Year" had taken off with a bang only to crash-landed on day 3 due to her enlightenment about class tests from 17th of this month through 19th.
She is reported to have cried inconsolably at the failed mission. Though top sources tell us that she is secretly overjoyed at the thought of lazing in bed for "a few more precious hours" every morning.
We do not know whom to believe.

We're interrupting this broadcast to get you I-swear-I-dont-know-what.
Oh. Ooops. Sorry.
What you're going to hear now is the voice of clueless. We've managed to establish telephone contact with her:

"Hey there readers... *cough* These assholes have already told you everything that has to be told... Just that I really miss posting here... but I am busy and almost dead *cough cough* Will post soon... I also have a few announcements to make when I return... Ahem. Love you guys. Thanks for the patience. *gasp* Nurse!! Water! WATER! Aaaa... ... ..."

Welcome back. Fresh reports coming in about... er... Christmas decorations for her blog and a "poll" if I'm not mistaken. Yes. They're going to be up shortly . Polls, we hear, were a popular feature of her blog back in 2008.

We do not have any footage to show you; no File photos of her "in happier times" either.
We don't know what else to say.
We're experiencing technical glitches.
(That always works.)

threadbare excuses

"ooh! technology!"

small world. smaller people.

quite late.

what is 'pain'?

cats purr. dogs talk.

but wait-

define "awesome time"

jarring note. lets vote.

(sedate)

heard Mozart is in town.

silly fucking world. silly fucking people.

celebrate?

signed: clueless.

So...
I'm currently ga-ga over:

POLAROIDS!

I mean, how fantastic are these things (right now)?
If you know me well, you'll know what's going on in my head.
"How much will a Polaroid cam cost? Wiki- here i come! Hmmm and what should I shoot when I get it..? Whats gonna be the caption for each shot...? How to convince dad? Hey I can take cool pictures with it for my blog. One everyday, like Ashley! Wow I love Polaroids!"

I recently saw a lot of these in a documentary on the Discovery channel, in "dostana" and hey, even visual DNA uses these! see? Polaroids are everywhere! :D

(Image used is a photograph taken by Jeff Zoet in 2005)

And guess what I'm gonna do now...?

talk some more! XD

*Try saying aloud, "wasps" or "tasks" even "grasps".
Notice the weird little noise at the end of each word- they're quite funny!
Me and my sister were studying one afternoon and discovered this.
Now try "bursts" :P

*The goth name generator called me "Trainwreck". Heck!!
It also called sudvrjcuw "Trainwreck".

*My mother had been trying to talk to anybody from the TataSky "helpline" for two days. Apparently the mechanical voice kept asking her to wait till they connected her to someone from technical support. I tried. It connected in no time.
"Don't tell them you are an existing customer ma, press the button they ask you to, for scheduling an installation. Someone will answer in under 10 seconds" I told her.
It happens only in India!

*Chances are, you'll be less bored on Facebook after 3 hours of logging in, versus 2 on Orkut.

*I just saw the first look of Dilli 6- Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra's "much awaited next". Sorry to say but it looks like a Saawariya (minus the blue) meets Bluffmaster and they fly to New York movie!
I really hope I'm wrong, and that there's more on offer.

*12 different people asked me 57 different questions today.
"I don't know" has been my answer.

*Yesterday I was just going through my music library. You know, through the old stuff which i haven't heard in the longest time And i came across an old favourite- Come Undone by Duran Duran... have heard it 23 times since.
Also playing: Billy Joel's She's always a woman to me. Two steps behind by Def Leppard, this track called Its all coming back to me now and Ronan Keating's When you say nothing at all... Also the almost dreamy Fable by Robert Miles.
I feel 14 again! :)
By the way, my sister finally got an i-pod (pink!!) as a late Christmas gift. So yayyy!
:D

* Have you noticed that I'm actually sounding cheerful? Unlike the 364 days of last year? I'll tell you why. Its because I know I have a way out. I just realised that I can always just get the hell out of engineering. So there's really nothing much to worry about and cry! =)

*From the makers maker of Orkutti and the Menu Card jokes:
Q: If they made a sequel to "Rock On!!" what would they call it?
Ans: Moron.
(as in, More-On!!)

If you didn't think my joke was funny, go on, take a dekko of this:



Still not funny?
You need to get laid.

All done!

*jittery*
first thing: I never imagined my blog in this avtaar... all the same, i love it... Its looking all pretty and Christmas-ey! :)

firster thing: Christmas! less than 10 days to go!

No. I'm not Christian (and while we're at it, I'm not a Mangalorean and NOT from Andhra either.) but there's something about the-last-week-of-december that makes me super happy!

Maybe its all those colours... Maybe all those lights... Presents? umm... Wine? Wine? Wine.
or... is it all the hype? Bingo!
I mean its the one day in the year I see my Dad actually livin' it up! :p

.

Christmas in as many words i can think of: Here it go!

Marshmallows, candy canes, stockings, Santa! christmas cake, tinsel, christmas trees, chimneys, decorations, baubles, angels, miseltoe, presents, fancy fireplace, happiness, wrapping paper, red+ green+gold, stars, warm woolies, ugg boots, christmas carols, family, turkey and roast potaoes, gravy, christmas pudding and snow...

Pity it doesn't snow here though... :(
Which reminds me, my sister's passport arrived, taking us one step closer to the white, snowy Christmas me and mum keep dreaming of... :D
aah! more dreams and schemes later...

Second thing: Someone pointed out to me recently, that there has been a more-than-subtle change in my newer posts, in terms of content...
She said that reading my blog now feels like reading someone's diary...
(are you kidding me?! i LOVE reading people's diaries! :P by accident of course!)
So I just want to tell her that more old-school posts coming up... Promise. 0:)
But only in January as I have some serious shopping/partying/holidaying to do! :D

Last thing: I was quite sick, the past couple of days. I've even recovered from the horrible back injury... So now I'm done blowing my nose and taking paracetamol for the year. Any alcohol going down my throat, now onwards, will not be in the form of cough syrup.

And now its time for- drumroll, please- My Random Rants!

.

*My old man couriered home a box of chocolates... again! cute or what? xD awww dad!
* 100 free sms are not enough. How many people am I messaging? Where is all my currency going?! HELLO?! Calls to Ireland: 9.5 bucks a minute! jeez!
*This one occurred to me while watering the plants last night: Cannot believe that ONCE i used to say things like hero pen and homework or shut your gob or ditcher & yeah, this one makes me laugh - geometry box... I mean just 4 years ago "Saturdays" still meant white uniform and Mass PT... Good old days or something they say....

* What is to food as masturbation is to sex? if you know, let me know...

* scooters, vacation, fall...? Imagine a post with tags like that.

Haha. ha. I want hot chicken soup. Now.

*Nancy Meyers should give me littttle credit. Iris from "The Holiday" (2006) is me!
*the not-logged-into-facebook record: 24 hours+

*the bad-hair-day record: 192 hours+