Friday, January 30, 2009

I randomly crave for certain eatables at un-godly hours.

4 pm.
the other day:

I was starving.
The chapatis weren't tempting me.
I bought a pack of Britannia bourbon.

My mind was racing...
"Sorry my love, I have been unfaithful. I have been guiltily snacking on potato chips for a while now. Pardon me. But know this, I never forgot you... ever. Thought about you... all along....
Only you.
But do not weep,
for I have to returned.
This is our destiny.
I have you in my arms now. I ask for nothing more."

(at this point I take a break to laugh my butt off, oblivious to the bored/annoyed expression on YOUR face)

(I now continue the narration)

I ripped the packet open, which I noticed had changed (a considerable bit) over time.
With the gastric juices completely at work, I plunged my hand into the packet and pulled one baby out- all the while muttering "yum.... yum... yum...."
I gazed at it.

*whip cracking noise*
Eyes: widen in shock.
Salivary Glands: suddenly defunct.
Violins in the background: grind to halt.

One. Sugar. Cryst
Just one bloody sugar crystal on the entire rectangular space...
What?? no!!
What happened to so many sugar crystals that used to almost cover the biscuit?!
I checked out the other pieces!
Same story.

My heart fell.
I felt like the Prince, who after being banished from his kingdom for epic-inspiring-reasons, returns to see it in evil hands.
In ruins.
Tears, then anger, consumed me!
I declared war!

(I now decide to cut out on anymore possible Ramayan-ish innuendos from this narration and mellow down my tone)

Disappointed, I finished the pack of sugar crystal deficient "bubbon bikki"... reminiscent... of the days in Jodhpur... and this biscuit then...
Sitting on the swing, I let the wave of mixed feelings crash against me. Over, and over again.
And I wordlessly asked no one in particular...
"you think they got them too? britannia little hearts... do you...?"
And I realised i had this well formed tear, sitting at the corner of my right eye...
I bent my head... closed my eyes...
It rolled right down...

* * * * * *

Its 4 bloody am.
I think I have insomnia.
Enrique's music is gay.
I want some hot, "full of flavour" melt-in-the-mouth seekh kababs.
Right now x(

I am salivating.
Like you aren't. biiiitch.
Willing to even go brush my teeth for it!
Its 4 bloody am.

* * * * *

More on "Why I'm listening to great music form the 40's, 50's and 60's" soon.
Also, listen in on what movie I watched over the weekend & how I killed a grizzly bear in an epic tale of love, nutrition and symbiosis.

Stuff I want to post about but cant find enough smart-ass words:
*cell phones (i want to throw mine away 'cuz it wont stop beeping.)
*valentine's day
*dark circles
* and... about my "me nooo shut up, ever." disease

time: 0430 hours.
Good morning folks.


  1. so today morning you were suffering from hyperphagia?
    I would suggest going to a buffet on saturday afternoon and having as much as you want ,just before drop dead.

    And the cell phone beeps (the cell phone doctor is here)... I think the cell phone should have a silent mode which can prevent beeps from happening in future.. :P

  2. first thing rahul:
    its not about how much i eat. its a random caving for some random food. Even if i'm stuffed, i just HAVE to eat it.
    helppp! i have a disease!! :P

    second thing: i am very much aware of the silent mode, doctor.
    My point here is not the "beep beep" but having to reply to each sms, leading to more beep-beep's...

    what say now? :P

  3. hmm.. this is serious...
    the first eating habit is not a disease... I have it .. so it is not supposed to be.. :D

    Mobile thing: i think you should call up customer care and ask them to chnage your plan to something where for evry sms you have to pay 20 ruppees... the phone company is happy and so are u ..:P

  4. you are a wise man rahul. wise indeed!
    talk about a quick fix to problems.

    now if you dont mind, i'll publish, here, your email id, so ppl can come to you with all their woes! :P

  5. great music from the forties?
    who art thou?

  6. "I think I have insomnia.
    Enrique's music is gay."

    am I getting intoxicated to your blog? :)

    Its funny how all bad men(and women for that matter) think alike.
    falling for frantic
    as light was never so bright

  7. hmmm... goirick's pearls of wisdom, ladies and gentlemen: hear hear!

    "as light was never so bright" wow...

    nice one again... and erm.. glad you like my blog :)

  8. aah..those bourbon biscuits defined an era for me...!!

  9. it did, for most of our generation...

    pity they're almost sugar crystal-less now :(


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